Are you struggling to find that perfect line to start your speech off right?
Whether you are delivering a speech for work, school, or a special occasion, opening with a funny quote can help you captivate your audience and get your point across.
So, if you’re looking for a little inspiration, here are 15 funny quotes to kick off your speech with a bang:
Quick Definition
There are countless funny quotes that can be used to begin a speech. Consider using an inspirational quote from a famous person, or one that is humorous and light-hearted that will draw in your audience.
Why Use a Funny Quote to Start a Speech?
When it comes to starting a speech, why not open with some laughter?
A funny quote can help grab the attention of an audience as well as ease any anxious energy in the room.
Not only is this approach amusing, but it also demonstrates confidence and puts your audience at ease.
Plus, you'll be setting a light-hearted tone for the remainder of your remarks, signaling to your audience that this won't just be a mundane affair. However, it’s important to remember that opening with humor isn’t always suitable.
Some presentations may call for more sobriety and when in doubt, skip the joke and stick to something that will get people’s ears perked up without offending anybody in the process.
Depending on the dynamic of the group and the content you’re delivering, going too far could backfire and ruin your credibility before you even get into your key points. So consider carefully whether opening with a funny quote is right for the occasion - and make sure it's genuinely witty or entertaining !
If used correctly, a humorous quote can spark interest from your audience and provide them with the incentive to stay focused until the end of your speech . Now that we've discussed why using a funny quote to start a speech can be beneficial, let's delve into how to gain attention from the audience when utilizing this approach in our next section.
Main Points to Remember
Starting a speech with a funny quote can help grab the audience's attention and ease any anxious energy in the room. It also signals to your audience that it won't be a mundane affair.
However, this approach isn't always suitable and should be used cautiously. If done correctly, a humorous quote can spark interest in your audience and provide them with the incentive to stay focused until the end of your speech.
Gaining Attention From the Audience
Getting attention from the audience is key when starting a presentation or speech. Depending on the size and type of audience, engaging the crowd and warming them up to what you have to say can be an effective way of ensuring they are interested and attentive. Adding humor to your start can be one way to get the audience’s attention right away. This can range from a joke , a lighthearted anecdote, or even quoting someone in the room (with their permission).
By adding a little bit of levity, you can break up the formal atmosphere that may exist in your audience. On the other hand, breaking the ice may backfire if delivered incorrectly - it can be juvenile or off-putting in certain contexts. Tying into something familiar or relevant in the room is another way to gain attention. This could be referring to a news story or current event that is related to your topic.
Finding something relatable for your audience will help create initial interest and give them a reason to listen . However, relying too heavily on this approach may lead to superficial interactions with topics that are not fully fleshed out. The next step in discussing any type of speech is adding impact to ensure your remarks have staying power with your listener.
Adding Impact to the Speech
Beginning a speech with an attention-grabbing quote can set the tone for an enjoyable and engaging delivery.
Quotes that are humorous or that playfully challenge conventional wisdom can help stimulate interest and discussion amongst your audience.
Lighthearted jokes or anecdotes can pique curiosity and show off your wit, while thought-provoking philosophies can provide food for thought. The only catch: Make sure to use a quote that fits the subject matter of your speech! Humorous quotes often make for some of the best kick-off points for a speech.
A funny joke or quip may lighten up the atmosphere and provide an infusing dose of energy to your audience. That said, it’s important to strike a balance; using humor to launch a serious presentation risks minimizing its importance or distracting from its main points—plus, it may detract from what you’re actually trying to say!
In most cases, it may be best to avoid humor altogether in order to ensure your message is seen as credible and valuable by the audience. On the other hand, if you’re giving an upbeat talk on a positive topic such as creative problem-solving, making insightful observations through edgy commentary may go down well with listeners!
Humorous quotes carefully chosen to complement the topic of your speech can prove entertaining while also adding depth and visual impact. In any case, try not to throw too many jokes into one presentation—oversaturation is also not recommended when it comes working humour into a speech. Moving on from discussing the impact of adding quotes to your speech, let us now look at different types of quotes which can be used to start a speech with a bang!
Types of Funny Quotes to Start a Speech
When crafting a discussion or speech, introducing the topic with a humorous quote can lighten up the atmosphere and set a positive tone.
But not all quotes are created equal, so depending on the situation it may be beneficial to choose an appropriate quote. There is an argument that using a quote from a famous person may have more impact to start off the discussion; however, there are also points to be made for using commonly known sayings or tongue-in-cheek quips. Many people believe that a quote from a distinguished person—whether historical figures, politicians, scientists, and so forth—can immediately draw attention and establish credibility.
It adds weight to the speaker’s ideas if they can reference legends who have come before them. However, it can backfire if the audience cannot understand or relate to whom the speaker is quoting, as well as their context.
Moreover, some might find certain quotes from prominent people cringe-worthy or too outdated for contemporary use. On the other hand, witty one-liners and popular phrases may prove to be more effective in connecting with an audience .
Since many of these jokes have been widely circulated over time, they are usually understood by all listeners. Certain regional or specialized acts require an audience familiar with particular terms; in this case you can use local sayings or inside jokes as long as you make sure it’s widely understood by everybody in the room.
Also, this type of humor is often seen as being more organic rather than forced because it sticks close to common knowledge. Finally, catered humor can elevate your performance tenfold when you take into account your particular audience’s interests and preferences.
If you’re having trouble deciding whether to use a famous person's quote or commonplace joke, consider asking yourself which will make your specific crowd laugh the most? That could be the deciding factor before beginning your speech with a bang. Turning now to quotes from famous people: successful speakers incorporate examples from historically esteemed individuals into their speeches to strike a chord with their crowd while also demonstrating intelligence and depth of knowledge.
Quotes From Famous People
Quotes from famous people can be a great way to start a speech. Not only are these quotes entertaining, but they can help create a bond between the speaker and the audience by referring to someone everyone knows and admires.
As a bonus, even raising the possibility of being taken seriously through association makes for an attention grabbing opening. On the other hand, with this comes the danger of misquoting or taking a famous quote out of context. Even if meant innocently, this could easily cause offense and cast doubt on the credibility of what follows afterwards in the speech. The use of quotes from famous people should then be treated with care and given due consideration before being used in a speech. For inspiration, here are 15 funny quotes from famous people that can kickstart any speech with a bang:
Quotes From Historical Figures
Quotes from historical figures have a lot of potential when it comes to beginning a speech.
Such inspiring words can provide insight about particular topics and become sources of motivation for listeners. Historical quotes can be used to set a serious tone or include some humor in an otherwise dry topic. However, depending on the situation, it is important to consider both sides of the argument when selecting these kinds of quotes. On the one hand, a quote from a historic leader can provide inspiration for the audience and bring attention to the importance of certain ideas.
Being a source of uplifting words, memorable lines taken from famous speeches can be especially effective in emotionally charged situations such as times of struggle or moments of hope. By quoting influential figures and making use of movements that changed lives, speakers can make their conversations meaningful and powerful. On the other hand, while quotations from history offer many benefits, they might fail to promote laughter or lightness at the start of a presentation. This could lead to monotonous public speaking engagements that could put people off instead of captivating their attention.
Furthermore, in some cases, controversial statements made by certain figures could have negative implications in an audience. Therefore, choosing an appropriate quote should involve careful selection and consideration before broadcasting it to an audience. In any case, having an impressive and catchy introduction with powerful words from inspiring leaders gives you an opportunity to capture your listeners’ imagination and successfully draw their attention towards your message.
Now that we discussed the pros and cons of using quotes from historical figures, let us turn our attention to finding relevant funny quotes which could be used to produce different results such as getting audiences laughing and energizing your speech right away.
Finding Relevant Funny Quotes
Finding relevant funny quotes to kick off a speech can be a great way to warm up the crowd and energize your audience.
When choosing a quote for this purpose, it's important to make sure that the content of the quote is both relatable and relevant to the message or topic of your speech . However, you want to ensure that it’s not something your audience has heard before or too risky that it could come across as offensive. Another factor when selecting a quote is how well known the author of the quote is. For example, quoting Will Rogers or Mark Twain will generally be better received than someone who may not have widespread recognition.
Generally, if you select a lesser-known author you should include some background information about them so people understand the context of their humour. Finally, another factor in finding good quotes for a speech is the relevance of the message within the quote itself. Selecting something broad can work but if possible it’s best to find something more tailored to your desired outcome.
Some good ways to research funny quotes are online collections from authors, comedians, or other sources that have come from people that specialize in creating humourous content. Finding relevant funny quotes can be challenging but can also be an effective way to grab an audiences attention and set the tone for an entertaining speech.
Before deciding on one though, it’s important to consider all factors such as the author, relevancy and risk-level associated with the content of what’s being said. With these pointers in mind, you can begin your search to figure out which humorous quote will give your speech the excellent start it deserves! With that process complete, now it’s time to move onto analyzing the situation and making sure each element lines up accordingly.
Analyzing the Situation
When choosing a funny quote to open a speech, it is important to carefully assess the situation.
Considering your audience and the occasion are two key elements to take into account for any successful speech. Joking around in a professional setting may be off-putting to some whereas in more light-hearted environments, it may go over well.
For example, while delivering a wedding toast at a lavish event it may be more appropriate to opt for a slapstick joke than if you’re talking at an academic conference. To ensure that your chosen quote won’t offend anyone or derail the tone of the event, consider searching for a mild joke that may still make people laugh without being too out of place. Likewise, researching jokes relevant to the topics discussed will make sure that you earn more laughter and appreciation from your audience. Overall, picking an appropriate funny quote is not always easy but analyzing the situation is an essential step for having a successful presentation. With thorough research and consideration of your audience and occasion, you can select a quote that will start your speech off with a bang. Now that you’ve gained insight into how to analyze the situation when selecting funny quotes, let’s move on to some tips and tricks for using them effectively when delivering your speech.
Tips and Tricks While Using Funny Quotes
Using funny quotes to begin a speech can be an effective way to grab the audience's attention. However, there are certain tips and tricks speakers need to remember if they wish to make the best of their funny quote. One of these tips is to choose the right quote. It’s important to pick one that is actually humorous and will be able to make your audience laugh or smile. Choose a quote that is relevant and contemporary – one that your audience will immediately relate and understand. In addition, it's also important to know how far your funny quote should go. Don’t choose a quote that may be considered offensive to any particular group of people. Make sure you find one that is lighthearted instead of overly edgy or inappropriate. When delivering your funny quote, don’t forget about using body language and facial expressions. A funny joke or punch line would sound flat without enough expression on the speaker’s face or in their delivery.
Try and exaggerate for comedic effect by varying the rate you say each word or maybe even add exaggerated hand gestures with each phrase for extra emphasis. These tips and tricks for using funny quotes can help speakers start their speech with a bang and make sure their humor gets across effectively to their audience - but these are not all of the rules when it comes to using humor while speaking!
The next section of this article will discuss our conclusion and final thoughts on how best to use funny quotes in speeches .
Conclusion and Final Thoughts
The conclusion of this article is that adding some humor to your speech can be a great way to engage and connect with your audience.
Using a few carefully chosen funny quotes can be the perfect way to open up a speech and get your audience's attention. Not only will it make them smile, it will also help break the ice, making it easier for you to warm up to speaking in front of an audience. There are pros and cons when deciding whether or not you should use humor in your speech.
On one hand, jokes and humorous quotes can be effective at engaging the audience , getting everyone laughing which can help create a relaxed atmosphere.
However, one must exercise caution as jokes that involve stereotypes or offensive topics might have unintended consequences. If a joke falls flat or people find the punchline inappropriate, then more than likely your presentation will not go as planned. So before using humor in your speech, make sure that it's appropriate and won't be taken the wrong way by your audience. Ultimately, if used correctly and tastefully, funny quotes can help increase engagement in any given speech.
Whether you're giving an inspirational talk or simply delivering facts to an audience, sprinkling in humor is always a nice touch that can be used to hit home a point or two while keeping the crowd entertained at the same time.
Here are 15 Funny Quote You Can Use to Start a Speech
Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I’ve been doing nothing for years.
I really lack the words to compliment myself today.
Don’t underestimate me, that’s my mother’s job.
I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
At the very start, let me say that we both have something in common. You don’t know what I’m going to say… and neither do I.
You are not completely useless you can always serve as a bad example.
It’s good to learn from other’s mistakes, I wish people learn something from me.
The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
I’ve only been wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong.
Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
Sorry, I’m late. I got here as soon as I felt like it.
You know God gave us brain to work out our problems. However we used it to create more!
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.
Don’t be afraid to talk to yourself. It’s the only way you can be sure somebody’s listening.
How do I determine which funny quotes to use in my speech?
When determining which funny quotes to use in your speech, it is important to consider the audience. Ask yourself if the quote is appropriate for the particular environment and crowd.
Additionally, you should consider the topics of your speech and choose quotes that are relevant to them. Furthermore, when selecting quotes make sure that they are short, concise and witty. You want the audience to get the joke so having simple delivery with a punchline helps with this.
Lastly, remember to have fun with it! Your sense of humor will help you pick out the best funny quote for your speech.
What are the best ways to structure a speech using funny quotes?
The best way to structure a speech using funny quotes is by mixing a few humorous statements in throughout the entirety of your presentation.
Begin with a funny opener quote to get everyone laughing, but don’t rely solely on jokes to carry your speech. Instead, use humor to set the tone and provide an entertaining break between informative points throughout your presentation.
It’s important not to overuse humor as too many jokes within a speech can take away from the main point of your presentation and also start to feel stale after a while.
Additionally, it’s good to check quotes you plan on using for accuracy and make sure that they fit the context of your message. If done well, humorous quotes can be great tools for engaging an audience in a stimulating way.
How can I use funny quotes to grab the attention of the audience?
Using funny quotes to grab the audience’s attention is a great way to start off your speech. Not only will it break the ice and get everyone laughing, it can also serve to introduce an important topic that you plan to discuss in your speech.
If the quote is clever and relevant to your subject matter, it can open up a meaningful dialogue about the main points of your speech and show your audience that you understand their perspective. To be effective, it’s important to pick out one or two funny quotes from your chosen source and use them strategically throughout the course of your speech. Avoid quoting too many jokes as this can lose its impact quickly.
Also make sure that any humorous words or phrases you use accurately reflect the tone and mood of the event so you don’t come across as overly jokey or inappropriate.
Finally, it’s good practice to acknowledge the original author or source of any funny quotes you use; this adds gravitas and ensures that proper credits are given where due.
40 Funny Speech Opening Lines: Make ‘Em Laugh Before You Even Begin!
Think of your speech opening line like the first bite of a delicious meal – it sets the tone and leaves you wanting more. A well-crafted, funny speech opening lines can instantly break the ice, make your audience feel at ease, and build anticipation for what’s to come.
But crafting that perfect line? It can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. That’s why we’ve done the heavy lifting for you! If you read our article about “ How to Write a Powerful Speech Opening ?” you will get a full understanding of how to craft your speech opening.
Below, you’ll find 40 funny speech opening lines that cater to a wide range of topics and situations. Whether you’re addressing a formal business conference or a casual wedding reception, these lines will help you the ice and kick things off with a bang.
General Icebreakers
Everyone loves a good laugh, right? These funny speech opening lines are designed to do just that – break the ice and get your audience smiling. They’re perfect for any occasion where you want to start things off on a light and friendly note.
“Before we start, can everyone please look under their chairs? I lost my contact lens, and it might be a little blurry up here…”
“Good evening, everyone! Or as I like to call it, the part of the day where I try to sound smarter than I actually am.”
“It’s a pleasure to be here tonight. Or as my therapist would say, ‘It’s a start.'”
“Thank you for that warm welcome. I was worried you’d all be asleep by now.”
“Hello, everyone! I’m here to talk to you about [topic]. Or as my kids call it, ‘The thing that makes dad boring.'”
“Before I begin, I want to thank the person who invented coffee. You are the real MVP.”
Self-Deprecating Humor
Want to show your audience you don’t take yourself too seriously? Try poking a little fun at yourself ! These self-deprecating funny speech opening lines can help you appear more relatable and down-to-earth.
“I wasn’t sure what to wear tonight, so I asked my cat. He said, ‘Meow’ (which I think means ‘go for the tuxedo’).”
“I’d like to thank [person] for that glowing introduction. I must say, I’ve never heard myself described as so… fictional.”
“I’ve been practicing this speech in front of my dog. He hasn’t understood a word, but he sure does wag his tail a lot.”
“I’m a little nervous tonight, so bear with me. I’m not used to talking to people who aren’t my plants.”
“I promise to keep this speech short. My attention span is about as long as a goldfish’s.”
“I know what you’re thinking: ‘This guy doesn’t look like a public speaker.’ Well, you’re right. I’m actually a ninja in disguise.”
Situational Humor (Weddings, Business, etc.)
Every event has its unique flavor, and your opening line can reflect that! Use these tailored jokes to match the mood of your specific occasion.
(Wedding) “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s an honor to be here tonight. And for the single folks out there, don’t worry, your time will come. Or it won’t. Either way, there’s cake.”
(Business) “I’m here to talk to you about increasing productivity. But first, let’s be honest, who here is secretly checking their email?”
(Graduation) “Congratulations, graduates! You made it. Now go out there and prove your parents wrong about that whole ‘art history degree’ thing.”
(Birthday) “Happy birthday, [person]! You don’t look a day over… well, let’s just say you look amazing.”
(Retirement) “Congratulations on your retirement! Finally, you can stop pretending to know what the young people are talking about.”
(Awards) “I’m truly honored to receive this award. Although, I must admit, I was hoping for a cash prize.”
Read our funny maid of honor speeches guide if you plan to do a speech on your friend’s big day.
Pop Culture References
Do you love movies, TV shows, or music? Sprinkle in a pop culture reference! It’s a fun way to connect with your audience, especially if you share a common interest.
“I’m so nervous, I feel like I’m about to go on stage for the first time since my middle school production of ‘Grease.'”
“I’m not sure if I’m qualified to give this speech. I mean, I’ve never even won an Oscar.”
“If this speech were a Netflix series, it would be called ‘Awkward Silences and Dad Jokes.'”
“I hope my speech isn’t as forgettable as the last season of ‘Game of Thrones.'”
Audience Participation
Want to make your speech even more fun? Get your audience involved ! These funny speech opening lines are designed to spark interaction and create a lively atmosphere. They’ll help you build a connection with your listeners right from the start.
“Can I get a show of hands? Who here actually read my bio in the program?”
“Who’s excited to be here tonight? [Pause for response] Liars.”
“I have a joke, but it only works if you laugh. So, on the count of three, everyone laugh… One, two, three… [Pause] Well, that was awkward.”
“Let’s play a game. I’ll say a word, and you shout out the first thing that comes to mind. Ready? [Topic of your speech].”
Bonus Lines (Just for Fun)
Looking for something a little extra? These lines are just for fun. They might be a bit silly, but they’re sure to get a chuckle out of your audience.
“I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I once hired someone from fiverr to watch a YouTube video for me.”
“I’m so bad at math, I can’t even count the number of times I’ve said ‘I’m bad at math.'”
“I’m not a morning person. I’m barely even a person before noon.”
“I’m not sure why I was asked to give this speech. I think they confused me with someone who’s actually interesting.”
“My therapist told me to take up public speaking to overcome my fear of judgment. So, feel free to judge away!”
“I’ve been told I have a face for radio. But hey, I’m here, aren’t I?”
“I’m like a fine wine… I get better with age. Or at least, that’s what I tell myself.”
“I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I’ve never been wrong… yet.”
“I’m not sure what’s more nerve-wracking, giving this speech or trying to parallel park in front of all of you.”
“I’m so glad you all came to hear me speak. I was starting to worry I was only talking to myself.”
“I’m not sure what’s more confusing, the economy or my love life.”
“I’m like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re gonna get. But hopefully, it’s not salmonella.”
“I’m not saying I’m old, but I remember when Netflix was just a DVD rental service.”
“I’m like a good book… worth sticking with until the end. Or at least, the first few chapters.”
Watch this compilation video of comedians delivering hilarious opening lines during their stand-up routines.
Remember, your opening line is your first chance to make a lasting impression. It’s your secret weapon to grab your audience’s attention and set the tone for an unforgettable speech.
We’ve covered a wide range of options to get you started:
General Icebreakers: Perfect for warming up any crowd with lighthearted humor.
Self-Deprecating Humor: Show your audience you don’t take yourself too seriously.
Situational Humor: Tailor your jokes to your specific event and audience.
Pop Culture References: Connect with your audience on a shared cultural level.
Audience Participation: Get everyone involved for a truly interactive experience.
Bonus Lines: Just for fun, because who doesn’t love a good laugh?
So, take a deep breath, step up to that microphone, and let your humor shine! Experiment with different types of speech opening lines until you find the perfect fit for your personality and your audience.
And if you’re ready to dive deeper into crafting a speech that truly resonates, don’t forget to check out our comprehensive guide on speech structure . It’ll give you all the tools you need to build a presentation that’s not only funny but also informative and engaging from start to finish.
Quotesanity
Best Funny Quotes To Kickstart Your Speech
When it comes to giving a speech, it’s important to grab your audience’s attention right from the start. And what better way to do that than with a funny quote? A well-placed humorous remark can instantly break the ice, lighten the mood, and make your audience more receptive to your message.
But finding the right funny quote can be a daunting task. Luckily, we’ve compiled a list of the best funny quotes to kickstart your speech. Whether you’re giving a presentation at work, an impromptu toast at a wedding, or a graduation speech, these quotes are sure to get a laugh and set the tone for your speech.
From witty one-liners to clever puns, there’s a funny quote for every occasion. Use them to add some humor to your speech, establish a rapport with your audience, and make your message memorable. So, without further ado, let’s dive into the world of funny quotes and make your speech a success!
Funniest Quotes to Make Your Audience Laugh
Humor is a powerful tool that can lighten the mood and create a connection with your audience. If you’re looking to add some laughter to your speech, here are some hilarious quotes that are guaranteed to make your audience laugh:
1. “I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” – Elayne Boosler
2. “I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.”
3. “I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'”
4. “I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”
5. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
Remember, delivering these quotes with the right timing and delivery is key to maximizing their comedic effect. Use them as icebreakers, interludes, or to conclude your speech on a humorous note. Just make sure to gauge your audience’s sense of humor and adjust accordingly!
With these funny quotes up your sleeve, you’ll have your audience rolling in the aisles in no time!
Hilarious Quotes to Break the Ice at Your Speech
Starting a speech can be nerve-wracking, but nothing breaks the tension better than a good laugh. Here are some hilarious quotes to help you break the ice and get your audience engaged:
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” – Steven Wright
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.”
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
“I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make it on Mondays.'”
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.” – Bob Monkhouse
“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.”
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A.A. Milne
“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
“The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon
“I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'”
These hilarious quotes are sure to lighten the mood and make your audience smile. Remember, a little humor goes a long way in breaking the ice and establishing a connection with your listeners. Good luck with your speech!
Laugh-Out-Loud Quotes to Lighten the Mood
Laughter is the best medicine, and injecting some humor into your speech can instantly lighten the mood and connect with your audience. Here are some laugh-out-loud quotes to help you kickstart your speech with a burst of laughter:
“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown
“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.” – Emo Philips
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. They won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.”
Choose one of these hilarious quotes and use it to kick off your speech on a light-hearted note. It’s guaranteed to put a smile on everyone’s face and set the right tone for an entertaining and engaging presentation!
Famous Funny Quotes That Never Fail to Amuse
Humor is a powerful tool when it comes to delivering an engaging speech. It can break the ice, captivate the audience, and leave a lasting impression. Here are some famous funny quotes that never fail to amuse:
“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
These funny quotes can serve as great opening lines or witty remarks during your speech. They add a touch of humor and relatability, making your audience more receptive to your message. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, so don’t be afraid to sprinkle some funny quotes into your next speech!
Smart and Witty Quotes That Will Impress Your Audience
If you want to make a lasting impression on your audience, incorporating smart and witty quotes into your speech is a great way to do it. Here are some of the best quotes that will leave your audience in awe:
“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost
“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
“The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.” – Colin Chapman
“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates
“I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.” – Charles M. Schulz
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” – Mark Twain
“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin
“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
These smart and witty quotes will not only add humor and charm to your speech, but they will also make your audience think and engage with your message. So go ahead, impress your audience with these clever quotes and make your speech memorable!
One-Liners to Kickstart Your Speech with Laughter
Starting a speech with a laugh is a great way to grab your audience’s attention and set a positive tone for your delivery. Here are some one-liners that are sure to tickle their funny bones:
1. “I used to be indecisive. Now, I’m not so sure.”
2. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
3. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…she gave me a hug.”
4. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”
5. “I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make it on Tuesdays.'”
6. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”
7. “I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
8. “Why don’t scientists trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something!”
9. “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
10. “I went to the doctor because I swallowed a bottle of food coloring. The doctor said I’m fine, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.”
Remember, humor is subjective, so choose a one-liner that aligns with your audience and the overall tone of your speech. These funny quotes are a great starting point to add a lighthearted touch to your presentation and ensure your audience is engaged from the start.
Clever Quotes to Make Your Speech Memorable
Adding clever quotes to your speech can help you leave a lasting impression on your audience. Here are some witty and thought-provoking quotes that will make your speech stand out:
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.” – Albert Schweitzer
“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Nelson Mandela
“The only thing that stands between you and your dream is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.” – Joel Brown
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” – Sam Levenson
“The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.” – Jimmy Johnson
“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs
By incorporating these clever quotes into your speech, you can engage your audience and leave them with a memorable message.
Inspirational Quotes with a Touch of Humor
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.” – Steve Jobs
“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” – Thomas Jefferson
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
“The road to success is not a path you find but a trail you blaze.” – Robert Brault
“I don’t need it to be easy, I need it to be worth it.” – Lil Wayne
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama
“The only way to do something is to do something.” – Tom Hopkins
These inspirational quotes remind us that success and happiness are achievable through hard work and perseverance. While they offer a touch of humor, they also serve as a reminder to keep pushing forward, even when faced with challenges. So, embrace the journey, stay motivated, and never be afraid to laugh along the way.
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20 Great Quotes To Help You Deliver A Killer Speech
Want to make your next speech more powerful ? Use superb quotations and use them well. In this article, I will share 20 of my favorite quotations for beginning and professional speakers. And I will tell you when and how to use them.
But before we get into these specific sayings, here are a few introductory suggestions for using quotations when you are a keynote speaker , giving an inspirational message, annual report, sales presentation, after-dinner talk, Sunday sermon, teaching lesson, or any speech you are preparing.
Use no more than 3 to 5 quotations in your speech. Remember that a quotation is like seasoning on a fine meal. Don’t overuse quotations in your talk. That’s like dumping an entire saltshaker worth of salt on top of your meal. Think of quotes as delicious flavor additives, not the main dish.
Avoid using quotes that are already well known to your audience. The real (secret) power of a great quotation is its ability to surprise your listeners.
Take the time to find the ideal quotes for your talk. Go deeper than a google search. Read inspiring books, check out relevant articles, visit your local bookstore or library. Keep a journal and collect the sayings, proverbs, quotations, and bits of wisdom that move your heart and mind.
Whenever possible, cite the source of your quotation. Give credit where credit is due. And be sure your source is accurate. You will lose credibility if you quote George Washington as an expert on social media! If you cannot track down the original source of your quote, you can simply say, “It has been said…”
Make sure your quotations support your main message . Sometimes it’s tempting to sneak a great quip or quote into your talk because you love it. First decide if it’s apt for what you want to communicate.
Here Are 20 of the Best Quotations for Your Next Speech Use One of These Great Quotes When You Want to…
Create laughter.
Quoting a comedian, famous wit, ancient proverb, or even a child’s wisdom can generate an instant laugh during your presentation. And trust me, your audience wants to laugh! Here’s the key: Pause before and after you share the funny quotation or short joke. A humorous quotation will surprise, shock, exaggerate, and often convey a tough truth in a way that delights.
“If you’re looking for a helping hand, there’s one at the end of your arm.” ~Yiddish Proverb
Make them THINK
A powerful quotation will give your audience food for thought. First of course, you must determine what you want your audience to understand, believe, and embrace. Then, choose a quotation that packs a punch.
“He not busy being born, is busy dying.” ~Bob Dylan
Grab their ATTENTION
Usually the shorter the quotation, the more powerful the punch. Long quotes, like long speeches, will leave your audiences yawning. To open your speech, you may want to grab your listener’s attention with a short quotation or aphorism. If you are giving a talk about dream casting or goal-setting for example, here’s a fine quotation:
“If you know what you want, you can have it.” ~RH Jarrett
Prove your POINT
You don’t have to agree with every source you quote. Sometimes who you quote, is as important as what you quote. Here’s an example. Though I obviously detest this famous leader, this quotation makes a powerful point. When I am stressing the power of passion, I sometimes share this one. Note: After I give the source—which always shocks the audience—I remind them that he was evil and that we must use the power of passion for good.
“Only a storm of hot passion can turn the destinies of people. And he alone can arouse passion who bears it within himself.” ~Adolf Hitler
Illustrate an IDEA
A good quotation is like a good story. It’s a window in your house. Use it to let the light in. Help your audience see what you are saying. A good metaphor is one of the most helpful tools in a speaker’s toolbox. To get your idea across, use a strong word picture. Imagine giving a talk to a group of schoolteachers. Your goal is to affirm them for the great work they are doing. You want to remind them that what they do—educating children—matters forever.
“A school is a building with four walls, with tomorrow inside.” ~Lon Watters
INSPIRE your audience
The best speeches lift hearts! If your goal is to motivate your audience, insert a quotation designed to inspire the dreams of your audience members. Connect with their emotions. Choose a statement that is filled with hope and encouragement. Here’s one of my favorites, because it strikes such an emotional chord:
“If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme.” ~Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio
Issue a WARNING
You can use a quotation to sound an alarm. You may want to shake your hearers into stopping/starting a behavior. The key here is choosing a quotation that lights a fire under your people. What mindset do you want them to change? What do you want them to do?
“Unassertive salespeople have skinny kids!” ~Zig Ziglar
Make people CARE
Many speakers make the mistake of thinking that their talk is primarily about content. While content is important, the best speakers transfer their conviction to an audience. Your group doesn’t want more information. They are looking for takeaways and transformation.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou
Capture an INSIGHT
Many times the quotes that will rock your speech are what I call “zingers.” What is a “zinger”? It’s a pithy statement that expresses a flash of insight. Zap your audience with a truth in capsule form. People love to read the fortune inside their fortune cookie—and often the words apply to their lives. When I am giving a speech that talks about how we learn, I love to share this one:
“I respect wisdom but I obey pain.” ~12 Step Recovery Saying
EDUCATE your attendees
Don’t make the mistake many speakers make. Never confuse a statistic with a quotation. Remember: facts tell, stories sell. Search out stories and quotations for your talk that provide “teaching moments.” Tip: Do an Amazon search for aphorism. You’ll discover some great gems and nuggets for your next speech. An aphorism, like a proverb, teaches a memorable lesson-in-a-few-words.
“Don’t expect your ship to come in—unless you’ve sent one out.” ~Belgian Proverb
STRENGTHEN your case
Know exactly what you want to say to an audience. Then you will be in a position to find the perfect quote(s) for your next keynote speech, workshop or seminar. If you are giving a talk on leadership, select a quotation from an inspiring leader. Are you motivating athletes? Choose a motivational saying from an accomplished football, basketball, or soccer player. Most importantly, know your audience. This will help you know which quotation will best support your speech.
“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.” ~Anais Nin
Make your speech MATTER
A good question to ask yourself is: “Who cares about what I am saying?” By the way, this is the very question your audience is asking when you start your speech. How does this matter to me ? Reverse engineer your speech. Think about the big takeaway you want your group to get from your presentation. Then craft your message—and the quotes that will make it pop—based on the actions you want your audience to take.
“The meaning of communication is the response you get.” ~NLP maxim
Use the power of REPETITION
One of the great speeches in U.S. history is Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech. And one of the factors that makes it so powerful? MLK’s repeated use of his awesome title: “I Have a Dream.” Consider repeating a strong quotation again and again during your talk. This can help you re-state your core message. You can also hammer home a big point with a quotation that repeats certain words to great effect. Notice how Winston Churchill did this often. (“Never, never, never give in…”), He and MLK are two of the greatest orators of the 20th century. Both leaders repeated words to maximize the impact of their language.
“We are all worms. But I do believe that I am a glow-worm.” ~Winston Churchill
Enhance a CELEBRATION
Maybe you will give your speech at a wedding, an anniversary party, or an awards program. You can pump up the proceedings with a special quote. Identify a sparkling statement that will raise spirits…and maybe wine glasses. Here’s the key to doing this well: Keep the focus on who/what is being celebrated. Your quotation should amplify the purpose of the event. Honor the bride, toast the award-winner, congratulate the champion. Get clear on the reason for festivities. Your quotation should put a spotlight on what your guests are celebrating together.
“Life is short, wear your party pants.” ~Loretta LaRoche
Want to make sport of a competitor? Handle a heckler? Or lampoon an idea you don’t like? A good quote can work wonders. Just be careful about coming across as mean-spirited. Humor helps.
“Lord, help me make my enemies look ridiculous.” ~Voltaire (French Philosopher)
Increase your AUTHORITY
Don’t get the wrong idea here. Quotations are not the source of your authority, you are. But a compelling quote can boost your credibility as a speaker. Select a quote that comes from a recognized name or organization that will resonate with your audience. Quote an expert. Better yet, become one.
“I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.” ~Muhammed Ali
Speak with CONFIDENCE
Want to know a speaking secret? Your listeners aren’t paying that much attention to what you say. But they are tuned in to how you say it. They are listening for your confidence. What do you do if you don’t feel confident? Act like you are. And to take it to the next level—instill confidence in your audience too. Model it.
“Feel the fear and do it anyway.” ~Susan Jeffers
Bring CLARITY
One of the gifts you can bring people via your message is clarity. Help your audience see the path, cut through the clutter, and take decisive action. Make a statement, or share a quotation, that simplifies things for people. Sometimes this can be phrased as a question like, “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” Other times you will want to give them the answer straight up. A great quote can help you do just that. You want to communicate with great clarity. And show your audience the way forward.
“If you don’t have a plan for your life, somebody else does.” ~Michael Hyatt
Issue a call to ACTION!
You can wrap-up your speech with a mighty quotation to finish strong. Make sure that your final phrase captures the heart of your main message. Don’t end on something cliché like, “Thanks for listening” or “My name is Blah Blah.” Your end quote, if you use one, should empower your audience and echo the main thrust of your talk. And get this: You want to invite your audience to take action.
“The way to get started is to quit talking and start doing.” ~Walt Disney
Create your own CATCH PHRASE
Few people remember speeches, but many people remember speakers. Can you create an original quotation that fits your personal brand? Tap into what makes you unique. What makes your message special? The final words of your speech can remind people about who you are and what you had to say. What is your signature “sign off” sentence? It might be a parting piece of advice. It could also be a statement you design to capture the way you want the group to remember the experience you created for them.
“The tribe has spoken.” ~Jeff Probst, “Survivor”
By finding and utilizing quotations that appeal to you, you will heighten the impact of your speech. Plug one or two of the above quotations into your next speech or special presentation. Better yet, discover the pitch-perfect quotes for your talk. Weave them into your speech and speak with gusto. You’ll be glad you did. And your audience will be pleased too. You can quote me on that.
Adam Christing is a professional keynote speaker, master of ceremonies , and author . He has written four humor and personal transformation books including: Comedy Comes Clean 1 & 2: A Hilarious Collection of Wholesome Jokes, Quotes, and One-liners, Your Life is a Joke: 12 Ways to Go from Ha Ha to AHA! and Bob Dylan Can Change Your Life: 61 Ways to Invent a Legendary You. Adam has been studying and collecting quotations for more than 25 years.
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Public speaking quotes: funny, inspiring insights for your presentation.
June 2, 2014
by Andy Saks
Over many years as a professional presenter and speaker, I’ve accumulated a treasure trove of funny, inspiring, insightful public speaking quotes.
These quotes are near and dear to my heart. They’ve helped me immensely, and helped me help others.
Some date back to biblical times. Others are hot off the Twitter press.
Sometimes I show them in a looping slideshow to warm up an audience before a keynote speech or presentation skills training program.
Other times I peek at them when I need some inspiration myself.
And here they are, for the first time, categorized and alphabetized for your presentation pleasure.
Which quotes make you laugh? Which inspire you? Which rub you the wrong way? Which of your favorites should I add? Which did you use in your presentation? Tell me by sharing your comment at the bottom of the page.
QUOTES FOR PUBLIC SPEAKING ANXIETY / FEAR
“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than delivering the eulogy.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears, of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before the Rotary Club, or the words ‘some assembly required.’” – Dave Barry
“…and from the first moment that I ever walked on stage in front of a darkened auditorium with a couple of hundred people sitting there, I was never afraid, I was never fearful, I didn’t suffer from stage fright, because I felt so safe on that stage. I wasn’t Patrick Stewart, I wasn’t in the environment that frightened me, I was pretending to be someone else, and I liked the other people I pretended to be. So I felt nothing but security for being on stage. And I think that’s what drew me to this strange job of playing make-believe.” — Patrick Stewart
“Feel the fear of public speaking and do it anyway.” – Arvee Robinson
“I was dreading winning. I didn’t even prepare an acceptance speech. I was worried that I would slip up or do something horrible. I was shaking in my seat, putting on a posed smile. Inside I was petrified.” – Leonardo DiCaprio (at the 1998 Academy Awards)
“It’s all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation.” – Rob Gilbert
“The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” – George Jessel
“There are two types of speakers: Those who get nervous and those who are liars.” – Mark Twain
QUOTES ON ASKING QUESTIONS & LISTENING
“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, and to sit down and listen.” – Winston Churchill
“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.” – Jimi Hendrix
“Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.” – fortune cookie Andy got (really!)
“Nothing calms a person faster than hearing his own ideas repeated back.” – Sandra DeLozier
“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears, by listening to them.” – Dean Rusk
“Open your ears before you open your mouth; it may surprise your eyes!” – Earl Nightingale
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin
“The finest art of communication is not learning how to express your thoughts. It is learning how to draw out the thoughts of another.” – Ted Tripp
“Two monologues do not make a dialogue.” – Jeff Daly
“You can tell if a man is clever by his answers. You can tell if a man is wise by his questions.” – unknown
QUOTES ON HAVING A GREAT ATTITUDE
“Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us.” -Earl Nightingale
“Say what you mean, mean what you say, just don’t say it mean.” – Nguyen Van Tho
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” – Laurence Peter
“The words you speak today should be soft and tender, for tomorrow you may have to eat them.” – unknown
“Think lovingly, speak lovingly, act lovingly, and every need shall be supplied.” – James Allen
“You have to smile, if you expect anybody to smile back.” – Jonathan Evison
QUOTES ON THE IMPORTANCE OF YOUR AUDIENCE
“Designing a presentation without an audience in mind is like writing a love letter and addressing it: To Whom It May Concern.” – Ken Haemer
“In the preaching moment, there is a liminal moment in which is dawns on you standing there that yes, there is something more going on here that I did not anticipate…You feed of the congregation, because black preaching is so dialogical. The affirmation in that dialogue is the place where you locate revelation.” – Dale Andrews (professor, Boston University, and occasional preacher)
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!” – @mediatraining
“The goal of effective communication should be for listeners to say ‘Me too!’ versus ‘So what?'” – Jim Rohn
“The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.” – Dale Carnegie
“To communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world, and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Tony Robbins
“To sway an audience, you must watch them as you speak.” – C. Kent Wright
“When are you going to understand that if it doesn’t pertain to me, I’m not interested?” – Candace Bergen as Murphy Brown
QUOTES ON CLARITY, SIMPLICITY AND WORD CHOICE IN SPEAKING
“Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.” – Mark Twain
“I understand a fury in your words, but not your words.” – William Shakespeare, Othello
“If we use common words on a great occasion, they are the more striking because they are felt at once to have a particular meaning, like old banners, or everyday clothes, hung up in a sacred place.” – George Eliot
“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” – Albert Einstein
“If you can’t write your message in a sentence, you can’t say it in an hour.” – Dianna Booher
“If you can’t state your position in eight words, you don’t have a position. “ – Seth Godin
“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.” – Jack Kerouac
“Precision of communication is important, more important than ever, in our era of hair-trigger balances, when a false or misunderstood word may create as much disaster as a sudden thoughtless act.” – James Thurber
“Speak clearly, if you speak at all. Carve every word before you let it fall.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” – Hans Hoffman
“The difference between the almost-right word and the right word is really a large matter–’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” — Mark Twain
“The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like cuttlefish squirting out ink.” – George Orwell
“The way something is presented will define the way you react to it.” – Neville Brody
“Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.” – William Butler Yeats
“Those who run to long words are mainly the unskillful and tasteless; they confuse pomposity with dignity, flaccidity with ease, and bulk with force.” – H.W. Fowler
QUOTES DEFINING PUBLIC SPEAKING AND PRESENTATIONS
“A presentation is a chance to share, not an oral exam.” – M.F. Fensholt
“All speaking is public speaking, whether it’s to one person or a thousand.” – Roger Love
“Eloquence is the power to translate a truth into language perfectly intelligible to the person to whom you speak.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Proper words in proper places make the true definition of a style.” – Jonathan Swift
“Speech is power. Speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel. It is to bring another out of his bad sense into your good sense.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Through the picture, I see reality. Through the word, I understand it.” – Sven Lidman
“To speak and to speak well are two things. A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks.” – Ben Jonson
“Words do two major things: they provide food for the mind and create light for understanding and awareness.” – Jim Rohn
“Words. Words, when spoken out loud for the sake of performance, are music. They have rhythm, and pitch, and timbre, and volume. These are the properties of music, and music has the ability to find us and move us and lift us up in ways that literal meaning can’t.” – Martin Sheen as President Bartlet, The West Wing
FUNNY QUOTES ON PUBLIC SPEAKING & PRESENTATIONS
“Don’t be afraid to talk to yourself. It’s the only way you can be sure somebody’s listening.” – F.P. Jones
“Every speaker has a mouth, an arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it’s filled with wisdom, sometimes it’s filled with feet.” – Robert Orben
“Light travels faster than sound. That’s why certain people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Albert Einstein
“Look your audience straight in the eyes, and begin to talk as if every one of them owed you money.” – Dale Carnegie
“My job is to talk; your job is to listen. If you finish first, please let me know.” – Harry Herschfield
“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” – Mark Twain
“Public speaking is very easy.” – Dan Quayle
“Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.” – Slovenian proverb
“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it’s taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw
QUOTES ON HONESTY IN SPEAKING
“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” – Mark Twain
“I didn’t lie. I was writing fiction in my mouth.” – Homer Simpson
“Speech is a mirror of the soul. As a man speaks, so is he.” – Publilius Syrus
“Teach the tongue to say ‘I do not know.’” – Maimonides
“When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
QUOTES ON HUMOR IN PRESENTATIONS & PUBLIC SPEAKING
“Humor is a rubber sword – it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.” – Mary Hirsch
“Humor is treacherous. It can charm, coax, and persuade, but it can also distract, baffle or alienate the audience.” – Eugene Finerman
“I learned at an early age that when I made people laugh, they liked me. This is a lesson I never forgot.” – Art Buchwald
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.” – Oscar Wilde
“Once you get people laughing, they’re listening and you can tell them almost anything.” – Herbert Gardner
“The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.” -Mark Twain
QUOTES ON THE POWER AND IMPORTANCE OF SPEAKING
“Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true.” – Charles Dickens
“Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half of people who have nothing to say and keep saying it.” – Robert Frost
“I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.” – Dr. Seuss, The Lorax
“If all my talents were to be taken from me by some inscrutable providence, and I had to make a choice of keeping but one, I would unhesitatingly ask to keep the power of speaking, because through it, I would quickly recover all the rest.” – Daniel Webster
“The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it.” – Edward R. Murrow
“The tongue has the power of life and death.” – Solomon
“The tongue is like a sharp knife. It kills without drawing blood.” – Buddha
“When nobody speaks your name, or even knows it, you, knowing it, must be the first to speak it.” – Marlon Riggs
“Improve your communication skills and you will earn fifty percent more money over your lifetime…In my office you’ll not see the degree I got from the University of Nebraska. You’ll not see the master’s degree I got from Columbia. But you’ll see the award certificate I got from the [public] speaking course.” – Warren Buffett
INSPIRING PUBLIC SPEAKING QUOTES
“Between your brain and your mouth (or your fingers) is magic: your power to choose what you say next. Use that magic.” – Chris Brogan
“Oratory should raise your heart rate. Oratory should blow the doors off the place.” – Rob Lowe as Sam Seaborn, The West Wing
“The difference between a good speech and a great speech is the energy with which the audience comes to their feet at the end. Is it polite? Is it a chore? Are they standing up because their boss just stood up? No. You want it to come from their socks.” – Rob Lowe as Sam Seaborn, The West Wing
“The world is made up of words. And if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish.” – Terence McKenna
“The world is waiting for your words.” – Arvee Robinson
“Your words can make you rich” – Dr. Donald Moine
QUOTES ON OPENING LINES IN PUBLIC SPEAKING
“He who fails to please in his salutation and address is at once rejected, and never obtains an opportunity of showing his latest excellences or essential qualities.” – Samuel Johnson
“You had me at ‘Hello.’” – Renee Zellweger as Dorothy Boyd in Jerry Maguire
QUOTES ON PASSION IN PUBLIC SPEAKING & PRESENTATIONS
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss
“Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.” – Jim Rohn
“I don’t like to hear cut-and-dried sermons. When I hear a man preach, I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees!” – Abraham Lincoln
“It doesn’t matter how elegant the argument or inspiring the prose, a presentation won’t move anyone if the presenter isn’t visibly feeling what they are saying.” – John Neffinger, KNP Communications
“Technique alone is never enough. You have to have passion. Technique alone is just an embroidered pot holder.” – Raymond Chandler
“The best speeches come from the heart and reflect your passion. Speak as if your life depended on it.” – Arvee Robinson
“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” – Carol Buchner
“When genuine passion moves you, say what you’ve got to say, and say it hot.” – D.H. Lawrence
“You can speak well if your tongue can deliver the message of your heart.” – John Ford
“You cannot speak that which you do not know. You cannot share that which you do not feel.” – Jim Rohn
QUOTES ON POWERPOINT PRESENTATIONS
“A designer knows he or she has achieved perfection, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” – Nolan Haims
“If God is in the details, then the Devil is in PowerPoint.” – @AngryPaulRand
“The more strikingly visual your presentation is, the more people will remember it. And more importantly, they will remember you.” – Paul Arden
QUOTES ON PREPARATION IN PUBLIC SPEAKING
“All Abe Lincoln needed was a pencil and paper to make his speech at Gettysburg.” – @TipsForSpeakers
“All the great speakers were bad speakers at first.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Communication works for those who work at it.” – John Powell
“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” – Abraham Lincoln
“If you wing it when speaking, you’ll get wing it results.” – Arvee Robinson
“It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” – Mark Twain
“Let he who would be moved to convince others be first moved to convince himself.” – T. Carlyle
“Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills, so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people.” – Jim Rohn
QUOTES ON SALES PRESENTATIONS
“Good listeners generally make more sales than good talkers.” – B.C. Holwick
“He that has no silver in his purse should have silver on his tongue.” – Thomas Fuller
“If you can’t say it, you can’t sell it!” – Arvee Robinson
“Samson killed a thousand men with the jawbone of an ass. That many sales are killed every day with exactly the same weapon.” – unknown
“The single most important tool in selling is being able to communicate effectively.” – Dan Brent Burt
QUOTES ON SILENCE IN PUBLIC SPEAKING
“It’s the space you put between the notes that make the music.” – Massimo Vignelli
“Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent.” – Dionysius of Halicarnassus
“Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.” – cowboy saying
“Speak only if you can improve upon silence.” – unknown
“Talking is like playing the harp; there is as much in laying the hand on the strings to stop their vibrations as in twanging them to bring out their music.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
“The most precious things in speech are pauses.” – Ralph Richardson
“Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
QUOTES ON SMILING IN PUBLIC SPEAKING
“So much is said with the electricity of the eyes, the intensity of a whisper. Less is more.” – Elizabeth Taylor
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia
“Your smile is a messenger of your goodwill.” – Dale Carnegie
QUOTES ON SPEED AND BREVITY IN PUBLIC SPEAKING
“A fool uttereth all his mind.” – Proverbs 29:11
“A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.” – William Strunk, Jr.
“A speech is like a love affair. Any fool can start one, but it requires considerable skill to end it.” – unknown
“Be sincere, be brief, be seated.” – Franklin Roosevelt
“Blessed is the man who, having nothing [more] to say, refrains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.” – George Eliot
“For effective communication, use brevity. Jesus said, ‘Follow me.’ Now that’s brief!” – Jim Rohn
“He who talks more is sooner exhausted.” – Lao Tzu
“If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought.” – Dennis Roth
“If you want me to speak for an hour, I am ready today. If you want me to speak for just a few minutes, it will take me a few weeks to prepare.” – Mark Twain
“It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books.” – Nietzsche
“It is with words as with sunbeams. The more they are condensed, the deeper they burn.” – Robert Southey
“It’s better to say nothing than spend 1,000 words or an hour speech saying nothing. Get to the point.” – Richard Branson
“It’s quite simple: say what you have to say and when you come to a sentence with a grammatical ending, sit down.” – Winston Churchill
“Make sure you have stopped speaking before your audience has stopped listening.” – Dorothy Sarnoff
“Never write if you can speak; never speak if you can nod; never nod if you can wink.” – Martin Lomasney
“Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.” – Evan Esar
“The best speech has a good beginning and a good ending – and has them close together.” – unknown
“The best way to make a good speech is to have a good beginning and a good ending – and have them close together.” – unknown
“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.” – Thomas Jefferson
“The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.” – Voltaire
“Think all you speak, but speak not all you think. Thoughts are your own; your words are so no more.” – Patrick Delany
“To make a speech immortal, you don’t have to make it everlasting.” – unknown
“What is powerful is when what you say is just the tip of the iceberg of what you know.” – Jim Rohn
QUOTES ON STORYTELLING IN PRESENTATIONS
“Every story has its time to be told.” – Sekou Sundiata
“Stories open the hearts of your listeners, and then their wallets.” – Arvee Robinson
QUOTES ON WORDS VERSUS ACTIONS
“Be content to act, and leave the talking to others.” – Baltasa
“One deed is worth a thousand speeches.” – American proverb
“People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do.” – unknown
“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney
“Words may show a man’s wit, but actions, his meaning. “ – Benjamin Franklin
ABOUT SPARK PRESENTATIONS
Spark owner and speaking quote compiler Andy Saks
Spark Presentations is a private company founded in 1998 that provides presentation skills training and speech coaching for executives, salespeople, marketers and other businesspeople, plus booth staff training for trade show exhibitors.
Spark also books professional presenters and public speakers to represent its clients at high-profile events, in roles like keynote speaker, trade show booth presenter, master of ceremonies (emcee) and auctioneer, as well as on camera talent and voice talent.
Spark’s client list includes large corporations like AT&T, Best Buy, Covidien, FedEx, Hyundai, Intel, Kimberly-Clark, Owens-Corning, Panasonic, Samsung, Sony, and Volvo; high-tech industry players like AMD, Atrion, Citrix, Gigamon, and Symantec; service organizations like Vistage, 1nService and NERCOMP; and New England institutions like Community Rowing and the Boston Jewish Film Festival.
Spark’s owner, Andy Saks, is also the author of The Presentation Playbook Series: Be a Most Valuable Presenter (MVP) , a three-volume series of books that help businesspeople master common presentation situations by building and running speaking “plays” like a coach or player calls a key play in a game. Volume 1 is available now in print and PDF formats on Spark’s website and at these online retailers and formats: Amazon print , Amazon Kindle , Apple iBooks and Barnes & Noble print and Nook .
For questions, quotes or orders, contact Andy Saks at 781-454-7600, email or Spark’s Contact page .
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15 Powerful Speech Opening Lines (And How to Create Your Own)
Hrideep barot.
Public Speaking , Speech Writing
Powerful speech opening lines set the tone and mood of your speech. It’s what grips the audience to want to know more about the rest of your talk.
The first few seconds are critical. It’s when you have maximum attention of the audience. And you must capitalize on that!
Instead of starting off with something plain and obvious such as a ‘Thank you’ or ‘Good Morning’, there’s so much more you can do for a powerful speech opening (here’s a great article we wrote a while ago on how you should NOT start your speech ).
To help you with this, I’ve compiled some of my favourite openings from various speakers. These speakers have gone on to deliver TED talks , win international Toastmaster competitions or are just noteworthy people who have mastered the art of communication.
After each speaker’s opening line, I have added how you can include their style of opening into your own speech. Understanding how these great speakers do it will certainly give you an idea to create your own speech opening line which will grip the audience from the outset!
Alright! Let’s dive into the 15 powerful speech openings…
Note: Want to take your communications skills to the next level? Book a complimentary consultation with one of our expert communication coaches. We’ll look under the hood of your hurdles and pick two to three growth opportunities so you can speak with impact!
1. Ric Elias
Opening: “Imagine a big explosion as you climb through 3,000 ft. Imagine a plane full of smoke. Imagine an engine going clack, clack, clack. It sounds scary. Well I had a unique seat that day. I was sitting in 1D.”
How to use the power of imagination to open your speech?
Putting your audience in a state of imagination can work extremely well to captivate them for the remainder of your talk.
It really helps to bring your audience in a certain mood that preps them for what’s about to come next. Speakers have used this with high effectiveness by transporting their audience into an imaginary land to help prove their point.
When Ric Elias opened his speech, the detail he used (3000 ft, sound of the engine going clack-clack-clack) made me feel that I too was in the plane. He was trying to make the audience experience what he was feeling – and, at least in my opinion, he did.
When using the imagination opening for speeches, the key is – detail. While we want the audience to wander into imagination, we want them to wander off to the image that we want to create for them. So, detail out your scenario if you’re going to use this technique.
Make your audience feel like they too are in the same circumstance as you were when you were in that particular situation.
2. Barack Obama
Opening: “You can’t say it, but you know it’s true.”
3. Seth MacFarlane
Opening: “There’s nowhere I would rather be on a day like this than around all this electoral equipment.” (It was raining)
How to use humour to open your speech?
When you use humour in a manner that suits your personality, it can set you up for a great speech. Why? Because getting a laugh in the first 30 seconds or so is a great way to quickly get the audience to like you.
And when they like you, they are much more likely to listen to and believe in your ideas.
Obama effortlessly uses his opening line to entice laughter among the audience. He brilliantly used the setting (the context of Trump becoming President) and said a line that completely matched his style of speaking.
Saying a joke without really saying a joke and getting people to laugh requires you to be completely comfortable in your own skin. And that’s not easy for many people (me being one of them).
If the joke doesn’t land as expected, it could lead to a rocky start.
Keep in mind the following when attempting to deliver a funny introduction:
Know your audience: Make sure your audience gets the context of the joke (if it’s an inside joke among the members you’re speaking to, that’s even better!). You can read this article we wrote where we give you tips on how you can actually get to know your audience better to ensure maximum impact with your speech openings
The joke should suit your natural personality. Don’t make it look forced or it won’t elicit the desired response
Test the opening out on a few people who match your real audience. Analyze their response and tweak the joke accordingly if necessary
Starting your speech with humour means your setting the tone of your speech. It would make sense to have a few more jokes sprinkled around the rest of the speech as well as the audience might be expecting the same from you
4. Mohammed Qahtani
Opening: Puts a cigarette on his lips, lights a lighter, stops just before lighting the cigarette. Looks at audience, “What?”
5. Darren Tay
Opening: Puts a white pair of briefs over his pants.
How to use props to begin your speech?
The reason props work so well in a talk is because in most cases the audience is not expecting anything more than just talking. So when a speaker pulls out an object that is unusual, everyone’s attention goes right to it.
It makes you wonder why that prop is being used in this particular speech.
The key word here is unusual . To grip the audience’s attention at the beginning of the speech, the prop being used should be something that the audience would never expect. Otherwise, it just becomes something that is common. And common = boring!
What Mohammed Qahtani and Darren Tay did superbly well in their talks was that they used props that nobody expected them to.
By pulling out a cigarette and lighter or a white pair of underwear, the audience can’t help but be gripped by what the speaker is about to do next. And that makes for a powerful speech opening.
6. Simon Sinek
Opening: “How do you explain when things don’t go as we assume? Or better, how do you explain when others are able to achieve things that seem to defy all of the assumptions?”
7. Julian Treasure
Opening: “The human voice. It’s the instrument we all play. It’s the most powerful sound in the world. Probably the only one that can start a war or say “I love you.” And yet many people have the experience that when they speak people don’t listen to them. Why is that? How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world?”
How to use questions to open a speech?
I use this method often. Starting off with a question is the simplest way to start your speech in a manner that immediately engages the audience.
But we should keep our questions compelling as opposed to something that is fairly obvious.
I’ve heard many speakers start their speeches with questions like “How many of us want to be successful?”
No one is going to say ‘no’ to that and frankly, I just feel silly raising my hand at such questions.
Simon Sinek and Jullian Treasure used questions in a manner that really made the audience think and make them curious to find out what the answer to that question is.
What Jullian Treasure did even better was the use of a few statements which built up to his question. This made the question even more compelling and set the theme for what the rest of his talk would be about.
So think of what question you can ask in your speech that will:
Set the theme for the remainder of your speech
Not be something that is fairly obvious
Be compelling enough so that the audience will actually want to know what the answer to that question will be
8. Aaron Beverley
Opening: Long pause (after an absurdly long introduction of a 57-word speech title). “Be honest. You enjoyed that, didn’t you?”
How to use silence for speech openings?
The reason this speech opening stands out is because of the fact that the title itself is 57 words long. The audience was already hilariously intrigued by what was going to come next.
But what’s so gripping here is the way Aaron holds the crowd’s suspense by…doing nothing. For about 10 to 12 seconds he did nothing but stand and look at the audience. Everyone quietened down. He then broke this silence by a humorous remark that brought the audience laughing down again.
When going on to open your speech, besides focusing on building a killer opening sentence, how about just being silent?
It’s important to keep in mind that the point of having a strong opening is so that the audience’s attention is all on you and are intrigued enough to want to listen to the rest of your speech.
Silence is a great way to do that. When you get on the stage, just pause for a few seconds (about 3 to 5 seconds) and just look at the crowd. Let the audience and yourself settle in to the fact that the spotlight is now on you.
I can’t put my finger on it, but there is something about starting the speech off with a pure pause that just makes the beginning so much more powerful. It adds credibility to you as a speaker as well, making you look more comfortable and confident on stage.
If you want to know more about the power of pausing in public speaking , check out this post we wrote. It will give you a deeper insight into the importance of pausing and how you can harness it for your own speeches. You can also check out this video to know more about Pausing for Public Speaking:
9. Dan Pink
Opening: “I need to make a confession at the outset here. Little over 20 years ago, I did something that I regret. Something that I’m not particularly proud of. Something that in many ways I wish no one would ever know but that here I feel kind of obliged to reveal.”
10. Kelly McGonigal
Opening: “I have a confession to make. But first I want you to make a little confession to me.”
How to use a build-up to open your speech?
When there are so many amazing ways to start a speech and grip an audience from the outset, why would you ever choose to begin your speech with a ‘Good morning?’.
That’s what I love about build-ups. They set the mood for something awesome that’s about to come in that the audience will feel like they just have to know about.
Instead of starting a speech as it is, see if you can add some build-up to your beginning itself. For instance, in Kelly McGonigal’s speech, she could have started off with the question of stress itself (which she eventually moves on to in her speech). It’s not a bad way to start the speech.
But by adding the statement of “I have a confession to make” and then not revealing the confession for a little bit, the audience is gripped to know what she’s about to do next and find out what indeed is her confession.
11. Tim Urban
Opening: “So in college, I was a government major. Which means that I had to write a lot of papers. Now when a normal student writes a paper, they might spread the work out a little like this.”
12. Scott Dinsmore
Opening: “8 years ago, I got the worst career advice of my life.”
How to use storytelling as a speech opening?
“The most powerful person in the world is the storyteller.” Steve Jobs
Storytelling is the foundation of good speeches. Starting your speech with a story is a great way to grip the audience’s attention. It makes them yearn to want to know how the rest of the story is going to pan out.
Tim Urban starts off his speech with a story dating back to his college days. His use of slides is masterful and something we all can learn from. But while his story sounds simple, it does the job of intriguing the audience to want to know more.
As soon as I heard the opening lines, I thought to myself “If normal students write their paper in a certain manner, how does Tim write his papers?”
Combine such a simple yet intriguing opening with comedic slides, and you’ve got yourself a pretty gripping speech.
Scott Dismore’s statement has a similar impact. However, just a side note, Scott Dismore actually started his speech with “Wow, what an honour.”
I would advise to not start your talk with something such as that. It’s way too common and does not do the job an opening must, which is to grip your audience and set the tone for what’s coming.
13. Larry Smith
Opening: “I want to discuss with you this afternoon why you’re going to fail to have a great career.”
14. Jane McGonigal
Opening: “You will live 7.5 minutes longer than you would have otherwise, just because you watched this talk.”
How to use provocative statements to start your speech?
Making a provocative statement creates a keen desire among the audience to want to know more about what you have to say. It immediately brings everyone into attention.
Larry Smith did just that by making his opening statement surprising, lightly humorous, and above all – fearful. These elements lead to an opening statement which creates so much curiosity among the audience that they need to know how your speech pans out.
This one time, I remember seeing a speaker start a speech with, “Last week, my best friend committed suicide.” The entire crowd was gripped. Everyone could feel the tension in the room.
They were just waiting for the speaker to continue to know where this speech will go.
That’s what a hard-hitting statement does, it intrigues your audience so much that they can’t wait to hear more! Just a tip, if you do start off with a provocative, hard-hitting statement, make sure you pause for a moment after saying it.
Silence after an impactful statement will allow your message to really sink in with the audience.
Related article: 5 Ways to Grab Your Audience’s Attention When You’re Losing it!
15. Ramona J Smith
Opening: In a boxing stance, “Life would sometimes feel like a fight. The punches, jabs and hooks will come in the form of challenges, obstacles and failures. Yet if you stay in the ring and learn from those past fights, at the end of each round, you’ll be still standing.”
How to use your full body to grip the audience at the beginning of your speech?
In a talk, the audience is expecting you to do just that – talk. But when you enter the stage and start putting your full body into use in a way that the audience does not expect, it grabs their attention.
Body language is critical when it comes to public speaking. Hand gestures, stage movement, facial expressions are all things that need to be paid attention to while you’re speaking on stage. But that’s not I’m talking about here.
Here, I’m referring to a unique use of the body that grips the audience, like how Ramona did. By using her body to get into a boxing stance, imitating punches, jabs and hooks with her arms while talking – that’s what got the audience’s attention.
The reason I say this is so powerful is because if you take Ramona’s speech and remove the body usage from her opening, the entire magic of the opening falls flat.
While the content is definitely strong, without those movements, she would not have captured the audience’s attention as beautifully as she did with the use of her body.
So if you have a speech opening that seems slightly dull, see if you can add some body movement to it.
If your speech starts with a story of someone running, actually act out the running. If your speech starts with a story of someone reading, actually act out the reading.
It will make your speech opening that much more impactful.
Related article: 5 Body Language Tips to Command the Stage
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Final Words
So there it is! 15 speech openings from some of my favourite speeches. Hopefully, these will act as a guide for you to create your own opening which is super impactful and sets you off on the path to becoming a powerful public speaker!
But remember, while a speech opening is super important, it’s just part of an overall structure.
If you’re serious about not just creating a great speech opening but to improve your public speaking at an overall level, I would highly recommend you to check out this course: Acumen Presents: Chris Anderson on Public Speaking on Udemy. Not only does it have specific lectures on starting and ending a speech, but it also offers an in-depth guide into all the nuances of public speaking.
Being the founder of TED Talks, Chris Anderson provides numerous examples of the best TED speakers to give us a very practical way of overcoming stage fear and delivering a speech that people will remember. His course has helped me personally and I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking to learn public speaking.
No one is ever “done” learning public speaking. It’s a continuous process and you can always get better. Keep learning, keep conquering and keep being awesome!
Lastly, if you want to know how you should NOT open your speech, we’ve got a video for you:
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16 Funny Quotes to Start Your Next Business Presentation
Searching for a humorous way to start a presentation look no further..
Scrambling to create a business presentation ? Here's a tip. Start with a slide showing a series of funny quotes just to warm up the room. It makes people realize your talk is not going to be a total borefest and you plan to keep things lively. Here are my favorite quips that you can borrow--just cut and paste the ones you like into your slides.
1. "Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader , who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes." Dave Barry
2. "Eagles soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Steven Wright
3. "I don't want yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth, even if it costs them their jobs." Samuel Goldwyn
4. "Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train." Jim Halpert, The Office
5. "It's much easier for me to make major life, multimillion-dollar decisions than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth." Oprah Winfrey
6. "Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders." Sloan Wilson
7. "The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts." Anonymous
8. "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." Oscar Wilde
9. "Few great men would have got past personnel." Paul Goodman
10. "The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate you away from those who are still undecided." Casey Stengel
11. "The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management." Scott Adams (Dilbert)
12. "Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people's drama, repeat these word: Not my circus, not my monkeys." Polish Proverb
13. "My boss doesn't believe that money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac." JokeQuote.com
14. "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't." Margaret Thatcher
15. "Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women." Groucho Marx
16. "If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." Attributed to Henry Ford
A refreshed look at leadership from the desk of CEO and chief content officer Stephanie Mehta
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15 Inspiring Public Speaking Quotes (Famous, Funny, & Fear-Reducing)
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One thing we've learned in this series about public speaking is that it's normal to have a fear of public speaking .
Hopefully, you've also learned that it's possible to improve your public speaking skills through mastering the right techniques and through practice .
If you're one of those who's struggling to become a better speaker, though, it can be easy to become discouraged.
You may feel that you're the only one who's got to work on their speaking skills or the only one who suffers from a fear of public speaking. You may feel unmotivated about your upcoming speech and you may be tempted to quit.
The truth, though, is that you're not alone. There are many others who have learned to improve their public speaking skill. When you struggle with something, sometimes it helps to know that you're not alone.
In this article, I share public speaking quotes from such famous people as Jerry Seinfield and others.
My hope is that when you read some of these inspirational quotes about public speaking you'll be encouraged.
Top Quotes About Public Speaking
Here are some of the best quotes about public speaking that I've found. In this list you'll find funny quotes on public speaking, fear of public speaking quotes, and famous quotes on public speaking.
To make it easier to follow, I've divided the list into sections—starting with the fear of public speaking quotes.
Fear of Public Speaking Quotes
Fear of public speaking is one of the most common phobias that people face. Some studies estimate that as many as 75% of us have this common fear. If you struggle with fear of public speaking (sometimes known as stage fright), hopefully you'll find these quotes about public speaking from those who've faced a fear of public speaking to be helpful.
1. Emma Roberts
Emma Roberts is a popular actress who has appeared in numerous movies and televisions shows. Roberts has appeared on Teen Vogue 's best dressed list and even served as a brand ambassador for the Neutrogena skin care line.
With those accomplishments you wouldn't expect Roberts to have stage fright, but in February of 2010 Roberts was quoted in the Los Angeles Times as saying,
"...doing a music video is so embarrassing. I don't think I'll be doing [another] album unless I write it for someone else. I have stage fright. I can't ever do theater because I would pee my pants ... It's way too nerve-racking. There's a comfort in being able to mess up when you're on a movie set."
2. Mahatma Gandhi
One of the greatest influencers and leaders of the 20th century, Gandhi led the Indian independent movement from British rule. Gandhi's efforts ultimately led to an independent India and inspired thousands around the world.
Yet, Gandhi struggled with shyness. In Gandhi's autobiography , there's an entire chapter on shyness. The chapter includes this motivational quote, which can be applied for public speaking,
"My shyness has been in reality my shield and buckler. It has allowed me to grow. It has helped me in my discernment of truth."
3. Prince Harry
Even being a royal doesn't make you immune from fear of public speaking. Princy Harry, the younger son of Charles and Diana (Prince and Princess of Wales), has admitted to struggling with fear or public speaking. Multiple news outlets, such as The Times , have documented Harry's stage fright. Here's the fear of public speaking quote from the Prince:
" My secret is – believe it or not – I get incredibly nervous before public speaking, no matter how big the crowd or the audience and, um, despite the fact that I laugh and joke all the time I get incredibly nervous, if not anxious, actually, before going into rooms full of people when I'm wearing a suit... And now that I've confessed that, I'll probably be even more worried that people are looking at me."
4. Annie Lennox
Lennox is perhaps most famous as the lead singer of the British music group, the Eurythmics. As a singer, Lennox received numerous awards, including the Billboard Century Award. In addition to being a talented musician, Lennox has raised money for HIV/AIDS awareness—resulting in an appointment from Queen Elizabeth II as an Officer of the Order of the British Empire. But Lennox also had to overcome the fear of public speaking:
"Fear paralyses you - fear of flying, fear of the future, fear of leaving a rubbish marriage, fear of public speaking, or whatever it is." (Source: BrainyQuotes )
Funny Quotes on Public Speaking
It's often been said that the ability to laugh at oneself is a good thing. Now, a 2011 study on laughter seems to support that premise. The researchers found that participants who laughed at themselves were more cheerful and had a better mood. If you can recognize yourself in some of these funny quotes on public speaking, it may cheer you up.
5. Jerry Seinfield
Seinfield 's a comedian and television personality who starred in a popular TV comedy series. Seinfield has also been a guest a number of other television shows. When it comes to public speaking quotes, Seinfield reportedly said this (from the New York Post ),
"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy."
6. Dale Carnegie
A writer and lecturer, Carnegie is best known for the popular advice book, How to Win Friends and Influence People . Perhaps one of the most famous self-help authors of 20th century, Carnegie went on to found a series of professional development courses that are still used today. Regarding public speaking, Carnegie reportedly said,
“There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave.” (Source: BrainyQuotes )
7. George Jessel
A famed British jurist of the 1900s, Sir George Jessel is most known for commercial law and equity. This historic judge was a part of numerous cases. Although accustomed to speaking in a court of law, Jessel reportedly had this to say about public speaking,
"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops... until you stand up to speak in public." (Source: BrainyQuote )
8. Dorothy Sarnoff
Sarnoff started out as an opera singer and star on Broadway. Later, Sarnoff founded a company called Speech Cosmetics--a company dedicated to improving its client's public speaking skills. The following funny public speaking quote has been credited to Sarnoff,
"Make sure that you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening! " (Source: Lead Yourself Today by John E. Markley)
9. Adam Duritz
Another popular musician, Duritz is a vocalist for the rock band Counting Crows. Duritz is also an accomplished writer, co-writing a song for the Shrek 2 movie. Plus, Duritz owns several record labels. Here's a funny public speaking quote that's attributed to Duritz,
"People ask me if I have stage fright. I say, '... no, I'm completely comfortable there. I have rest-of-the-day fright.'" (Source: AZ Quotes )
Famous Quotes on Public Speaking
In this section, I've shared some motivational and inspirational quotes about public speaking from well-known historical and contemporary leaders.
10. Lady Bird Johnson
Johnson was the First Lady of the United States from 1963 to 1969. In addition, Johnson advocated for The Highway Beautification Act that limits the use of outdoor advertising along highways and promotes scenic roadside development. Johnson was also a business owner.
Early in life, Johnson bought the KTBC radio station in Austin, TX. The following motivational public speaking quote is attributed to Johnson,
“The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid.” (Source: Quotes.net )
11. Ralph Waldo Emerson
This poet and philosopher influenced American thought in the 19th century and beyond. Emerson is mostly known for essays and other writings today, but what many don't know is that Emerson was a popular lecturer in the mid to late 1800s. This inspiring quote expresses Emerson's view that speech is important,
“Speech is power: speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel.” (Source: The Later Lectures of Ralph Waldo Emerson: 1843 - 1871 )
12. Seth Godin
Godin is known for blogging and for entrepreneurial ventures. Godin also wrote several best-selling books such as Purple Cow and Tribes. Godin also gives frequent public speeches. This motivational quote on public speaking comes from Seth Godin's Blog ,
"You are not being judged, the value of what you are bringing to the audience is being judged."
13. Richard Branson
The founder of the Virgin Group (which includes the Virgin Records music label and other companies), Branson has been an entrepreneur since the 1970s. In fact, in 1999 Buckingham Palace knighted Branson for "services to entrepreneurship." This Branson motivational quote about public speaking is from Inc.,
"Picture yourself in a living room having a chat with your friends. You would be relaxed and comfortable talking to them, the same applies when public speaking."
14. Franklin D. Roosevelt
Roosevelt was a U.S. president for thirteen years, with a presidency spanning both the Great Depression and World War II. Roosevelt is known for the New Deal legislation, which implemented public work projects and other financial reform. Roosevelt is also known for leadership during World War II. The following public speaking quote is credited to Roosevelt,
“Be sincere; be brief; be seated.” (Source: GoodReads )
15. Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton is perhaps most famous for being a former First Lady of the United States or for advocating healthcare reform. However, Clinton was also Secretary of State from 2009 to 2013. Clinton ran for presidential office in 2008 and 2016. About public speaking, Clinton reportedly said,
“If you're not comfortable with public speaking - and nobody starts out comfortable; you have to learn how to be comfortable - practice. I cannot overstate the importance of practicing. Get some close friends or family members to help evaluate you, or somebody at work that you trust.” (Source: AZQuotes )
Take Away: Use These Motivational Quotes for Public Speaking to Become a Better Speaker
If you get nothing else from this article, remember that public speaking is a skill that can improved. You can improve. You can become a better public speaker!
To inspire you, I've gathered some of the best motivational quotes for public speaking that I could find, including quotes about public speaking from famous people who've struggled with it.
And just for fun, I've also shared some funny quotes on public speaking. As you read these, I hope you found them useful.
Learn More About Public Speaking
Read on for some motivational articles and tutorials to improve your public speaking:
Editorial Note: This content was originally published in 2018. We're sharing it again because our editors have determined that this information is still accurate and relevant.
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Great funny speeches
5 keys to writing & delivering humorous speeches.
By: Susan Dugdale | Last modified: 01-04-2023
Many of us long to give a great funny speech.
We imagine ourselves being oh, so witty. In our minds, we tell jokes effortlessly. We see our audience beam appreciatively, and hear them roar and snort with laughter in the places they're meant to. Of course the applause as we finish triumphantly is thunderous.
Sadly though, we really don't know how, or where to start to write, or deliver one.
If that's you, this is your page!
5 keys to writing & delivering great funny speeches
1. understanding the purpose of your speech.
Is the primary goal of your speech to be funny or is it to impart knowledge with humor?
Unless you are a stand-up comedian, the main purpose of your speech is probably to give your message in an entertaining way, which will include humor.
This means that you will use humor as a tool to help you communicate, to carry your message to the audience. It is not the main focus of your speech but an enjoyable addition.
The more integrated the humor is with your speech subject, the more effective it will be.
Getting clear on your primary goal will help you decide how you plan, write and deliver your speech.
2. Understanding humor
Humor comes in many shapes and sizes from small smirks to full blown belly laughs. To use it effectively it helps to have an understanding of its varieties. This enables you to choose what will suit your audience, your speech topic, and the occasion.
Types of verbal humor and word play
Visit my page types of verbal humor and word play for definitions and examples of puns, irony, hyperbole, innuendo, spoonerisms and more. Much more!
Verbal humor is deliciously silly stuff. Like this wonderful double malapropism that's kept me chortling for umpteen years. It was in a student's essay. (Thank you Tina.)
"The statue of Liberace and the Star Strangled Banger"
Sometimes marking is glorious!
Physical humor
My page on physical humor will give you an introduction to using gesture or body language as an aid to laughter.
You'll find explanations and exercises to help you explore using your body to express yourself.
Finding the confidence to play with physical humor, to allow yourself to experiment, will reward you enormously. Because, as I say in the introduction to the page:
"Physical humor has an immediacy that by passes language completely and goes straight to the funny center. It transcends age groups, gender and culture."
It's the language everybody understands.
Verbal and physical humor are the core elements you'll bring together when crafting your speech.
3. Integrating humor
What works, what doesn't, and why?
We know adding humor to our presentations makes them more effective and more memorable but sometimes the more we try, the worse it gets. The jokes fall excruciatingly flat.
You can avoid that pain by reading how to use humor effectively .
Those great funny speeches you admire bring more than a knowledge of the basic "ha-ha, hee-hee" building blocks together.
4. Storytelling & characterization
How to use humorous stories or anecdotes in speeches. There's three pages to browse. All of them will deepen your understanding.
- story telling in speeches - choosing & shaping a story. What story fits your speech purpose, your audience and your content?
- story telling set-ups Having a great funny story to tell is good. Having a great introduction or set-up to it, is even better. Find out how do that well.
- characterization techniques enable you to become the characters in your story. Your stories are so much richer for it.
5. Rehearsal/practice = great funny speeches
Having prepared your speech, you're ready for rehearsal.
Practice, and then more practice, will hone and refine your speech. You'll find out what works, what doesn't, where you need to edit and why.
Truly, I'm not exaggerating when I say that practice can make all the difference between being splendiferously successful and disappointment.
Read my story about giving a humorous speech . That ought to convince you! This was a lesson straight from the "should-have-known-better department".
The tips you need for rehearsing are below.
how to rehearse - a step by step guide to get the best out of the time you spend practicing.
vocal variety - how to use your voice effectively This page also has ongoing links information and exercises for using pauses, varying the rate of speech, how to speak clearly and more - all of which are needed for humor.
Other resources for preparing great funny speeches
* Videoed speeches from Toastmaster's Humorous Speaking Contests Among other things like content, structure, choice of vocabulary, use of voice, they're good for seeing how gesture and movement helps tell the story.
(What I find really interesting about these is how personal preference plays into which I think are great funny speeches, and which I don't. I can see and hear competency and confidence. That's a base level requirement. However, beyond that individual sensibilities take over. ☺)
* Tony Audrieth's The Art of Using Humor in Public Speaking . This is an in-depth exploration of the aspects that combine to successfully deliver a funny speech. You'll find examples of humor types, notes of delivery and practice as well as suggested sources for quotes and jokes. I think it's superb - an immensely valuable resource.
* A useful collection of fun speech topics - good for starters if you're stuck.
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From fear to fun in 28 ways
A complete one stop resource to scuttle fear in the best of all possible ways - with laughter.
First impressions last. The way you introduce yourself can make or break your image to somebody. That is why it is important that you make sure your introduction is something that will strike a strong impression. Most of the time, the way to do this is through a sense of humor. Being witty and funny adds to your charm and desirability. Who doesn’t like a funny fella, right?
Whatever your purpose is, we have all sorts of ways you can use to introduce yourself. We provided the best lists of 360 funny and witty introduction lines that you can use when introducing yourself to someone, when giving a speech, or when you need a killer and funny introduction lines to introduce yourself online on Twitter, Instagram, or even on dating sites and apps. Read on if you are ready!
Table of Contents
Funny Self-Introductions
No matter what the occasion is, whether you are trying to be very random into starting a conversation with someone, here are some of the good and funny introduction lines you can use to introduce yourself to someone.
Who doesn’t love a totally strange message from a stranger about something completely random?
“In your opinion, how many cats are too many cats? You know, for when we live together?”
“Hey, I haven’t read the news since 2015 but I probably didn’t really miss anything, did I?”
I like long walks along the beach… and by the beach, I mean from my couch to my fridge.
“I’ve listened to Ariana Grande’s new song 17 times today. Thoughts?”
“If you had to live a TV show, would you choose Riverdale or The Bachelor and why?”
I still use my ex’s Hulu log-in, and yes, I will gladly share it with you.
I’m sugar (*name* actually), spice (a dash of social anxiety), and everything nice (but I will throw down if necessary.) Wanna party?
“What was your last dream about and how did I look?”
Funny Online Introductions
The rise of the online platforms as forms of communication makes it easier for everyone to communicate, stay connected, and make connections. It is more important to make sure that your introductions leave a strong impression especially since you are not face-to-face with the other person. Worry no more because here are some of the best witty and funny introductions you can use online.
I am an extraordinary person.
I am an ordinary person with a blessed heart.
Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.
I can change your pessimist thoughts to optimistic ones.
Just an ordinary person with an extraordinary dream.
I am an unsolvable paradox with a dry sense of humor.
I am both the storm and the calm after it.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
You know who I am.
Funny Intro Lines for Dating Apps
Tinder or Bumbler—whatever dating sites or apps you use, your introduction is a way to attract people. Here are some funny and witty intro lines you can use to introduce yourself and to include on your bio on dating apps and sites!
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice I hope!
You must be a great thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
I’m hoping you find my awkwardness cute rather than weird.
You must have been a Girl Scout because you’ve got my heart tied in knots.
Aren’t you tired from constantly running through my dreams?
My name may not be Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood.
I think you’re a Pokemon trainer because you just Weedle-d your way into my heart.
I need a map because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
I noticed you were staring at me. I’ll let you have a minute to catch your breath.
I was supposed to go on a double date with my BFF and her boyfriend, but my date bailed out. Want to be my date instead?
You look like you’re cold. My arms will warm you up.
You should probably tie your shoelaces or you might quickly fall for me!
You must be an electrician because you’re lighting up my day!
Are your espresso? Because I like you a latte.
Han doesn’t want to fly Solo tonight!
I can’t write about meeting you in my diary tonight.
Do you have 11 protons? Because you’re sodium fine!
If I lived in a cupboard under the stairs like Harry Potter, I’d still make room for you in my life.
If I had a star for every time you brightened my world I’d be holding the entire galaxy in my hands.
I need my inhaler because you just took my breath away.
I think we had a class together once. Was it chemistry?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.
If you were a steak, you’d be well done!
Your smile is proof that the best things in life are free.
You’re so cute that I forgot my pickup line!
My mom thinks I`m gay, can you help me prove that she’s right?
Hi, I’m interviewing pretty girls for a story I’m writing. So what’s your name, phone number, and are you free on Friday night?
Did you just drop something? I hope it was your standard.
Good luck with getting laid!
Funny and Witty Online Intro
If you didn’t find the perfect introduction for you from the lists above, here are more funny and witty online introduction lines you can use to add to your online bio.
Just being me.
Personal Trainer 💪 Dancer 💃 Meditator 🧘
Share your photos with us using #(brand name)
My name ain’t Mary but I’m still poppin’
Traveller ✈️ Book Lover 📖 Obsessed with tacos 🌮
Check out our best sellers below
Glitter is the only option
Walking in a winter Sunderland.
Life is short, make every selfie count
One day, I hope to be a happily married old man telling wild stories from his wild youth.
Not like the rest of them
Pretty & Profitable
Hustle for more muscle
Living life on my own terms; my puns are koala tea.
Do something today that your future self will thank you for
Click the follow button to be part of my [adjective] journey
Live in the sunshine where you belong
It’s hard to find someone who’s smart, funny, adorable and a total badass. My only advice for you is, don’t forget to follow me
One of a kind
Having the time of my life ⏰🎉
Live life in full bloom.
Lauren Neefe/Stocksy
See the good in the world
We love all animals 🐶 and donate a percentage of sales to marine life 🐠
Lettuce seizes the day.
Even if you had instructions, you still couldn’t handle me
My ex doesn’t go with my outfit
I regret nothing you see in this feed
Real queens fix each other’s crowns
If love is in the air why is the air so polluted?
Follow my [adjective] story
Dreams 👉 Goals
I don’t use filters for my photos; all real girl over here 🙂
Every day I create a life I love
The worst workout is the one you didn’t bother to do
Always in search of some vitamin sea.
I have a resting beach face.
Sometimes we could always use a little magic don’t hide the magic within you
Aloha 🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴
Humble, with just a hint of Kanye
Tropic like it’s hot.
My Instagram is proof that I’m always creating a better version of myself
Adding a little sparkle to your day ✨
Too glam to give a damn
I wear confidence on my sleeve
Kanye attitude with Drake feelings 😭
Recovering cake addict 🎂
There’s no one butter.
C’est la vie
Happiness never goes out of style
Always bee yourself.
I haven’t been there yet but it’s on my list
☕Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed ☕
The best things come from living outside of your comfort zone
I’m ready to let’s do this
Follow my Instagram or I’m nacho friend anymore
Artists never retire, they withdraw instead
Take advantage of every opportunity you get because some things only happen once in a lifetime
Great selection of (type of products) merch
I take a lot of selfies for my future biographer
This is my life
Be young. Be dope. Run the show.
I’m bearly awake.
When you feel like giving up, keep going
I’m the exception
Women can look beautiful in any outfit, but the right outfit can make women become powerful
My clothes highlight my colorful life
You can’t become the best without first being the worst
Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer
My story will inspire you so be sure to hit that follow button
Mentally on the beach 🏖️
Play. Slay.
I don’t know where I’m going but I’m going
3Having the purrfect day.
Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to unveil my secret bio.
What should I put here?
Fulltime Instagram model, DM for business inquiries
Leaving a bit of sparkle everywhere I go ✨
I’d rather make mistakes than fake perfection
🌎 Free international shipping
I wonder how many calories my exes burned jumping to conclusions
When the pain passes, you eventually see how much good came out of a bad situation
Funny Intro Lines for Instagram
If you are specifically looking for introductions and intro lines you can use for your Instagram bio, here are some of the funny, witty, and unique intro lines for you!
⚫wanderlust ⚫a strong desire to travel
Nabi Tang/Stocksy
So grateful to be sharing my world with you
In a world of average, I’m savage
No this isn’t a dream, this is my reality
Having a gouda time.
Sprinkling a bit of magic
The most important part of a camera is the person in front of it
Tell me not to do something and I’ll do it twice and take pictures
I’m suffering from an extreme case of not being a Kardashian
Rollin’ with the homies
Today’s the kind of day I live for
Simple but significant
In 2019, I’m going to be better than I’ve ever been before
I’m just peachy.
Looking for puns? I’m punking.
Follow me and I’ll follow back
I’m sparkling like my water ✨
All you need is love.
Don’t study me. You won’t graduate 🎓
Currently saying yes to new adventures
Currently hanging out in 🇵🇹
I believe in making the impossible possible because there’s no fun in giving up
The snuggle is real.
Doing better
The prettiest smiles hide the biggest secrets
I’m one in a melon.
Always better together xoxo
Love 💗 and Peace ✌️
I dress as if I’m about to see my arch-nemesis
Strength comes from doing things you thought you couldn’t
I’m out here hustlin’ to claim what’s mine
Follow along to witness history in the making
Yup, I’m just another Instagram influencer
Join me on my next adventure!
🍂🍃Falling for you 🍂🍃
You become what you believe, so believe in yourself
The best things in life are really expensive. You can have me for $7 billion 😉
❤️ Lover not a fighter spreading ✌️all over the 🌎
Relationship status: Netflix and ice cream
Let’s not make this guacward.
Meet (name)
I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not
She turned her cant’s into cans and her dreams into plans
I strive to impress myself
I like taking the scenic route
Turned my dreams into my vision and my vision into my reality
I believe in helping people
I hope you find peas.
You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do
Midnight snacker 🌝
Do you want a pizza for me?
Don’t know what to do? You can start by hitting that follow button.
Train insane or remain the same
#Beyourselfie
I shine from within so no one can dim my light
Shh… I’m Victoria’s Secret model. It’s such a big secret, not even Victoria knows
Trying to watch more sunsets than Netflix
I like to stop and smell the rosé
I’ve made quite a spectacle of myself.
I love to take time to wind down.
Check out the link below
Capture every moment
So many of my smiles are because of you
Who runs the world? ME.
I don’t care what people think of me this is me in the rawest form
Funny Intro Lines for Twitter
If you are a fan of Twitter and you use Twitter a lot, you might want to add more sense of humor to your Twitter bio. Here are some of the suggested funny and witty intro lines you can use in your Twitter bio.
I’m real, and I hope some of my followers are too.
The good news is I’m no longer sleeping in my cab. The bad news is my company went out of business so I no longer have a cab to sleep in.
Who reads these anyway?
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
I’ve learned I don’t know anything. Have also learned that people will pay for what I know. Life is good.
I Was Born Cool, Global Warming Made Me Hot.
Better late than never, but never late is better.
I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
If Plan A didn’t work. Don’t worry; the alphabet has 25 more letters.
Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife.
Do you even Tweet bro? #pleaselikeme Send me Bitcoin1DFijjzzshADv9XUXfG6aNkxxxxxUb
I don’t always have time to study… but when I do, I don’t.
You can do anything, but not everything.
Don’t you just hate it when a sentence doesn’t end the way your octopus?
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
Waiting for an app that could deliver six-packs.
I don’t have bad handwriting, I have my own font.
Not enough space!!!!
Disappointed but not surprised.
90% of your problems can be solved by marketing. Solving the other 10% just requires good procrastination skills.
Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire
I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes, I’m sleeping.
I am the human equivalent of a typo.
Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.
Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphones.
Born at a very young age.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
I try not to laugh at my jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.
Living one day at a time, with a fresh-baked cookie. Okay. And with a coffee. And maybe some chocolate. But I promise to take my vitamins.
My parents are right about one thing, I’m beautiful!
Fresher than you.
Angelic face, devilish thoughts.
Good girls are bad girls, who never get caught.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting?
People can’t use you if you’re useless.
Waking up every day seems a bit excessive.
I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder.
One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
When we put our minds to it, there’s a lot of things we can’t do.
Maybe I should rethink this when I spelled it Blogging at first.
Why talk when you can mock? Why hide your Face like I got Mace? Is it all an act or just a Fact. Maybe if you didn’t drool, you’d be cool. Ran out of room boom
Having one child makes you a parent, having two makes you a referee.
I am not failed, my success is just postponed.
If you can’t change a Girl… change the Girl.
I could be classy. If I weren’t lassy.
I don’t make mistakes, I date them.
Never have more children than you have car windows.
God must love stupid people he made so many!
I’m working on my Twitter bio. Check again after ten years.
If I was funny, I would have a good Twitter bio.
If you’re not adding value, you’re adding noise. Thank you in advance.
Who cares? I’m awesome!
The worst distance between two people is a misunderstanding.
I’m here to serve cats!
The only thing I gained so far in 2014 is the weight.
I decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
Winner of World’s Best Wife Award (Category: Nagging)
If you’re texting two people at the same time, you are bisexual.
Normal is boring!
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
Looking at people’s mutual friends and saying OMG HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
I started writing funny tweets when I was 16. It’s been 12 years and I’m still doing the same.
I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.
Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
Kidnapping? I prefer the term surprise adoption.
I’m not on Facebook. This is all you’re ever going to get.
Ninety-nine problems but money ain’t one.
When does a woman say WHAT? It’s not because she didn’t hear from you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
50% idk, 50% IDC.
I believe I could, but I overslept so I didn’t.
Let me bitch at you every day until you sort your shit out.
Reading texts half asleep is like looking into the sun.
I am not lazy, I just rest before I tired.
Sometimes I just stare and sometimes I just sit and stare.
I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
2% girl, 98% anxiety.
Government employee. Don’t blame me… I didn’t do anything wrong.
Say yikes and move on.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he needs more proof.
When you’re Downie, eat a brownie.
We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than a fat person.
Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
Funny Introductions for Speech
Sometimes, there are special occasions where you are asked to deliver a speech. Now, don’t be pressure on how to keep your audience engaged and entertained. Here are some of the funny and witty introductions and opening lines you can use to start off your speech.
My job is to talk to you, and your job is to listen to it. If you finish first, please let me know.
An evening like this would be empty without some reference to [politics], so let’s just think of this as empty.
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, Why should I? He never reads any of mine.
After such an introduction, I can hardly wait to hear what I’m going to say.
I was chosen to speak today based on my senility.
I was chosen to speak due to my warm personality. . . . Look up warm and it means not so hot.
I gave a speech last week and the C.E.O. said I was both original and good. Unfortunately, the parts that were good weren’t original and the parts that were original weren’t very good. Don’t worry, I’ll do better today.
As Spinoza or someone very much like him, once said . . .
Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume, that’s the closest I’ll ever come to perfection.
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
Be brief. And be seated. I promise I will be as brief as possible.no matter how long it takes
If any of you are related to our main guest, let me know so I can speak slowly.
I’d like to tell you some jokes now, but you’d only laugh.
I was told to be accurate, be brief, and then be seated. … So I promise I shall be as brief as possible – no matter how long it takes me.
I have a bad feeling about this. Before the meeting (INSERT NAME) said he (she) would be starting the meeting with a joke. Then he introduced me?
I hope you will excuse my being late. The person in this organization who gave me directions here has obviously heard me speak before.
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? All the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I’m pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
It’s funny, as I was walking up here I was thinking that we all have a lot in common today. None of us know what I’m going to say!?
We were worried that our main speaker wouldn’t be able to make it tonight. But, fortunately, due to a hole in the prosecution’s case . . .
Asking me to speak is like watching a dog walk on his hind legs. Even if it isn’t done well, you’re amazed it can be done at all.
I do not stand on protocol. If you just call me Excellency, it will be okay.
Before I speak, I’ve got something important to say… I was told to be accurate.
I’ve always heard the secret to a good speech was to start with something of specific interest to the audience. O.K. (with a smile) All of your cars have been stolen.
Thank you for the privilege of speaking to you in this magnificent auditorium. You know the meaning of the word auditorium, don’t you? It is derived from two Latin words, audio, to hear, and Taurus, the bull.
I sort of feel like Cindy Crawford’s new husband on their wedding night. I know what’s expected of me. I’m just not sure I’ve got the ability to make it interesting.
Once you get people laughing, they’re listening and you can tell them almost anything.
It has been discovered experimentally that you can draw laughter from an audience anywhere in the world, of any class or race, simply by walking on a stage and uttering the words I am a married man.
My father gave me these hints on speech making: Be sincere … be brief … be seated.
Thank you. You know, coming here tonight my (husband)(wife) said…Whatever you do don’t try to be too charming, witty or intellectual…just be yourself.
I’d like to introduce a man with a lot of charm, talent, and wit. Unfortunately, he couldn’t be here tonight, so instead . . .
Don’t you think it’s amazing that 200 of us had dinner together and we all pretty much ordered the same thing?
When I was preparing for this speech I asked my family for advice. One member replied, There’s a first time for everything, so try to be funny and brief.
Funny Introductions for Weddings
Weddings are a very special occasion between two people in love. For you to be invited to deliver a speech at a wedding must mean that you are either the maid of honor or the best man. Make your speech even more entertaining by using these introduction lines and adding them to your speech!
Hi, I’m the best man and for the speech today, the bride and groom have asked that I don’t talk about the groom’s mishaps, mistakes, embarrassing moments or ex-girlfriends. So thanks for listening everyone, that’s all from me!
Hi, I’m [NAME] and it’s time for me to do this speech I scribbled down about an hour before the ceremony started.
My name is [NAME] and I’ve known [GROOM] since we were at school – so we’ve both learned together what a mullet it as that it wasn’t a good look for either of us.
My name is [NAME] and [GROOM/BRIDE’S NAME] asked me to be his best man a year ago – although I never actually received a formal invitation to the wedding. Let’s hope I haven’t eaten someone else’s meal by mistake – but more likely, it was [GROOM’S NAME] saving himself the cost of a stamp.
Hi, I’m the best man and can I start by saying what an emotional day it’s been today? Even the cake is in tiers.
My name is [NAME] and it’s an honor to stand here as [GROOM’S NAME]’s best man. I’d like to say it’s a pleasure too, but that won’t be the case until I’ve finished this speech…
If you could keep the clapping and cheering to a minimum today – I’ve got a terrible hangover. I know you shouldn’t drink heavily before a big event but I couldn’t let [GROOM’S NAME] drink alone, could I?
Hi, I’m [NAME] and I’m here to give a speech about [GROOM’S NAME] – but what can I say about him that hasn’t already been a topic on the Jeremy Kyle show?
[GROOM’S NAME] is a wonderful, handsome, charismatic man. He’d do anything for anyone. He even wrote this speech for me!
Hi, I’m [NAME] and in the run-up to the wedding, many people have asked me how I’ll cope now my best friend is married and will spend all his time at home loved up with his wife. Well, I’m thrilled. I’m finally able to talk to women without him cramping my style!
Before I begin, I must admit that [NAME] and [NAME] have asked that I remove anything resembling innuendo from this speech – I’ve promised if I come across anything even slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately.
Right, I’d just like to start by laying down a couple of rules. Firstly, if you do have a mobile phone… please, leave it switched on; keep yourselves entertained. And secondly, if anyone texts you any good jokes, could you please forward them to me?
My name is [NAME] and I’ve known [GROOM] since we were at school – yes, I knew him when he still had hair!
My name is [NAME] and I’m the best man. It might have taken X amount of years, but [GROOM’S NAME] has finally admitted I’m the best.
I did ask for a microphone but they wouldn’t give me one. So the people at the back, the silence from the guys at the front should reassure you that you’re not missing out on anything.
To start this speech, I Googled ‘the perfect best man speech’ but you had to pay to read the examples and I didn’t think it was worth it, so I’m just going to wing it.
I’m the best man and I think I got this role by default as [GROOM’S NAME] doesn’t really have any other friends. I didn’t really want to do it, but I thought it might be the only chance I’ll get to have a meal and some drinks paid for by [GROOM’S NAME] so I didn’t risk turning it down.
I read somewhere the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass to the happy couple!
We all know [BRIDE’S NAME] is a wonderful woman and deserves the perfect man. Unfortunately, you don’t always get what you deserve.
Whatever the purpose is, introducing yourself is very important and must be carefully done. It directly affects your image and the people’s impression of you. Choose the one that really describes your personality so that your introduction will be as authentic as possible. And of course, a little sense of humor won’t hurt! Be funny and witty whenever you can!
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Navigating the Path to Knowledge Together
120 Inspiring Quotes to Start A Speech with Impact
April 20, 2023 by smartmovesonly
1 Inspiring Quotes to Start A Speech with Impact
2 Good Quotes To Start A Speech About Yourself
3 Good Quotes To Start A Speech
4 Funny Quotes To Start A Speech
5 Great Quotes To Start A Speech
6 Motivational Quotes To Start A Speech
7 Quotes To Start A Speech on Relationship
8 Quotes To Start A Speech on fashion designing
9 Quotes To Start A Speech in School
10 Conclusion
Inspiring Quotes to Start A Speech with Impact
It is often said that a picture is worth a thousand words, but sometimes, a single sentence can leave a lasting impact on our minds and hearts. Quotes are powerful tools that can inspire, motivate, and move us to action. Whether you are giving a speech, writing an essay, or simply looking for a source of inspiration, quotes can provide the perfect starting point to help you express your ideas and connect with your audience.
Today, I have compiled 120 quotes that cover a wide range of topics, from motivation and success to love and friendship. These quotes have been carefully curated to provide you with a diverse collection of voices and perspectives that will help you find the perfect words to start your speech. Whether you are looking for a witty one-liner, a profound insight, or a timeless piece of wisdom, you are sure to find something that resonates with you in this collection.
But why are quotes so powerful? At their core, quotes are distilled expressions of the human experience. They capture our thoughts and emotions in a way that is both concise and profound. They can make us laugh, cry, or feel a surge of motivation, all in a few short words. Quotes have the power to connect us with each other and with ourselves, reminding us of our shared humanity and the things that truly matter in life.
So, without further ado, let us dive into this collection of 120 quotes to start a speech. May these words inspire you, challenge you, and move you to action as you seek to make your mark on the world.
Related: 30 Powerful Ways to Start a Speech or Presentation
Good Quotes To Start A Speech About Yourself
“I am the author of my own story, and every page is a testament to my resilience and determination.”
“As I stand here before you today, I am reminded of the quote, ‘Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.’ And it is with that mindset that I have faced every challenge that has come my way.”
“I am not defined by my past, but rather by the person I am today and the person I strive to become tomorrow.”
“I believe that every person has a unique story to tell, and it is through our experiences that we gain wisdom and empathy for others.”
“I am a firm believer in the power of self-reflection and personal growth, and it is through these practices that I have become the person I am today.”
“I have always been driven by a desire to make a positive impact on the world, and it is this passion that has guided me throughout my life.”
“I am a lifelong learner, constantly seeking new knowledge and experiences that broaden my understanding of the world and my place in it.”
“I believe that success is not just about achieving our goals, but also about the journey we take to get there.”
“I have learned that failure is not a setback, but rather an opportunity to learn and grow.”
“I am a believer in the power of community, and it is through the support and encouragement of those around me that I have been able to achieve my goals.”
“I believe that each of us has a unique purpose in life, and it is our responsibility to discover and pursue that purpose with passion and dedication.”
“I am a firm believer in the importance of perseverance, and it is through my own determination and persistence that I have been able to overcome obstacles and achieve my dreams.”
“I believe that our greatest strengths often emerge from our greatest challenges, and it is through these challenges that we discover what we are truly capable of.”
“I am committed to living a life of integrity, compassion, and kindness, and it is these values that guide my actions and decisions every day.”
“I believe that we all have the power to make a positive impact on the world, and it is through our actions and our words that we can inspire others to do the same.”
Related: How to Start a Speech: The Power of Storytelling
Good Quotes To Start A Speech
“The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.”
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do.”
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”
“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.”
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
“The best way to predict your future is to create it.”
“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”
“Life is a journey, and if you fall in love with the journey, you will be in love forever.”
“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.”
“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”
Related: 5 Steps To Crafting the Perfect Opening Line for Your Speech
Funny Quotes To Start A Speech
“I am here to talk to you about myself because no one else will.”
“I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
“I’m not sure if I’m the best person for this job, but they gave it to me anyways.”
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
“I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy.”
“I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.”
“I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.”
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not sure.”
“I’m not procrastinating, I’m just prioritizing my to-do list.”
“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?”
“I don’t always have a good idea, but when I do, I forget it.”
“I’m not saying I’m old, but I remember when emojis were called emoticons.”
“I’m not saying I’m forgetful, but I went to the fridge to get some water and ended up watching Netflix for an hour.”
“I’m not saying I’m a genius, but I did just figure out how to eat pizza while lying down.”
Related: 30 Powerful Ways to End a Speech or Presentation fpm_start("true")
Great Quotes To Start A Speech
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Nelson Mandela
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” – John Quincy Adams
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” – Albert Einstein
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” – Epictetus
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi
“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
“Champions keep playing until they get it right.” – Billie Jean King
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky
Related: How To Not Be Nervous For A Presentation-13 Proven Techniques
Motivational Quotes To Start A Speech
“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.” – Christian D. Larson
“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
“If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission.” – Unknown
“The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer
“Success is not a destination, but the road that you’re on. Being successful means that you’re working hard and walking your walk every day. You can only live your dream by working hard towards it.” – Marlon Wayans
“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” – Sam Levenson
Related: The Do’s and Don’ts of Starting a Speech: Common Mistakes to Avoid
Quotes To Start A Speech on Relationship
“A healthy relationship is built on unwavering trust, honesty, and communication.” – Unknown
“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” – Tony Robbins
“Relationships are not about finding someone to complete you but rather someone who accepts you completely.” – Unknown
“In a strong relationship, the love between two people should be greater than the need for each other.” – Unknown
“A successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin
“Relationships are about trust. If you have to play detective, then it’s time to move on.” – Unknown
“It’s not about finding someone who completes you. It’s about finding someone who accepts you completely.” – Unknown
“A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.” – Unknown
“A great relationship is about two things: first, appreciating the similarities, and second, respecting the differences.” – Unknown
“Relationships are like gardens. They require nurturing, patience, and love to grow.” – Unknown
“The greatest happiness in life is the certainty that we are loved.” – Victor Hugo
“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.” – Loretta Young
“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” – Audrey Hepburn
“A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets and no lies.” – Unknown
“A good relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future.” – Unknown
“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them together.” – Unknown
“The best relationships are built on a foundation of friendship.” – Unknown
“In a strong relationship, two people love each other for who they are, not who they want each other to be.” – Unknown
“A relationship is not based on the length of time you’ve spent together, but on the foundation, you’ve built together.” – Unknown
“The best things in life are the people we love, the places we’ve been, and the memories we’ve made along the way.” – Unknown
Top Reads: 135 Monday Motivation Quotes to Jumpstart Your Week
Quotes To Start A Speech on fashion designing
“Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life.” – Bill Cunningham
“Fashion is the most powerful art there is. It’s movement, design, and architecture all in one. It shows the world who we are and who we’d like to be.” – Blair Waldorf
“Fashion is not necessarily about labels. It’s not about brands. It’s about something else that comes from within you.” – Ralph Lauren
“Fashion is the language of the soul.” – Miuccia Prada
“Fashion is the mirror of history.” – Christian Dior
“Fashion is not just beauty, it’s about good attitude. You have to believe in yourself and be strong.” – Adriana Lima
“The joy of dressing is an art.” – John Galliano
“Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” – Rachel Zoe
“Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.” – Coco Chanel
“Fashion is about dreaming and making other people dream.” – Donatella Versace
“I think fashion is a lot of fun. I love clothes. More than fashion or brand labels, I love design.” – Marc Jacobs
“Fashion is a form of self-expression. It’s how you show the world who you are without saying a word.” – Unknown
“The best fashion show is definitely on the street. Always has been, and always will be.” – Bill Cunningham
“Fashion is an art, and you are the canvas.” – Velvet Paper
“Fashion is a trend. Style lives within a person.” – Oscar de la Renta
Top Reads: 105 Tuesday Motivation And Quotes To Keep The Vibe Going
Quotes To Start A Speech in School
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” – Nelson Mandela
“The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you.” – B.B. King
“The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
“Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.” – John Dewey
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” – Dr. Seuss
“The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.” – Aristotle
“Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.” – W.B. Yeats
“Education is not a problem. Education is an opportunity.” – Lyndon B. Johnson
“The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” – Carl Rogers
“Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.” – Malcolm X
“The purpose of education is to make minds, not careers.” – William Deresiewicz
“Education is not a tool for development – individual, community and the nation. It is the foundation for our future. It is empowerment to make choices and emboldens the youth to chase their dreams.” – Nita Ambani
“Education is not about filling a pail, it’s about lighting a fire.” – William Butler Yeats
“Intelligence plus character – that is the true goal of education.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
“Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom.” – George Washington Carver
We have explored the power of quotes and how they can be used to start a speech. From motivational quotes to humorous quips, the right quote can set the tone for your speech and capture the attention of your audience. We have seen that quotes can distill complex ideas into a few simple words, making them a powerful tool for communication.
But quotes are more than just words on a page. They are a reflection of the human experience, capturing our hopes, dreams, fears, and aspirations. They remind us of the things that truly matter in life and connect us with each other in a way that transcends time and space. Whether you are looking for a source of inspiration, a way to connect with your audience, or simply a reminder of the beauty and complexity of the human experience, quotes can provide the perfect starting point.
So, as you prepare to give your next speech, consider the power of a well-chosen quote. Let these words inspire you, challenge you and move you to action as you seek to make your mark on the world. Remember that words have the power to change lives, and that the right quote can be the spark that sets your audience on fire.
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How to Start a Speech: 7 Tips and Examples for a Captivating Opening
By Status.net Editorial Team on December 12, 2023 — 10 minutes to read
1. Choosing the Right Opening Line
Finding the perfect opening line for your speech is important in grabbing your audience’s attention. A strong opening line sets the stage for the points you want to make and helps you establish a connection with your listeners.
1. Start with a question
Engage your audience from the very beginning by asking them a thought-provoking question related to your topic. This approach encourages them to think, and it can create a sense of anticipation about what’s coming next.
“Have you ever wondered how much time we spend on our phones every day?”
2. Share a personal story
A relatable personal story can create an emotional connection with your audience. Make sure your story is short, relevant to your speech, and ends with a clear point.
“When I was a child, my grandmother used to tell me that every kind deed we do plants a seed of goodness in the world. It was this philosophy that inspired me to start volunteering.”
3. Use a quote or a statistic
Incorporate a powerful quote or an intriguing statistic at the outset of your speech to engage your audience and provide context for your topic.
“As the great Maya Angelou once said, ‘People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'”
4. Make them laugh
Injecting a little humor into your opening line puts everyone at ease and makes your speech more memorable. Just make sure your joke is relevant and doesn’t offend your audience.
“They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit!”
5. Paint a mental picture
Draw your audience in by describing a vivid scene or painting an illustration in their minds. This creates an immersive experience that makes it easier for your audience to follow your speech.
“Picture this: you’re walking down the beach, and you look out on the horizon. The sun is setting, and the sky is a breathtaking canvas of reds, oranges, and pinks.”
2. Using a Personal Story
Sharing a personal story can be a highly effective way to engage your audience from the very beginning of your speech. When you open your talk with a powerful, relatable story, it helps create an emotional connection with your listeners, making them more invested in what you have to say.
Think about an experience from your life that is relevant to the topic of your speech. Your story doesn’t have to be grand or dramatic, but it should be clear and vivid. Include enough detail to paint a picture in your audience’s minds, but keep it concise and on point.
The key to successfully using a personal story is to make it relatable. Choose a situation that your audience can empathize with or easily understand. For example, if you’re giving a speech about overcoming adversity, you could talk about a time where you faced a seemingly insurmountable challenge and overcame it.
Make sure to connect your story to the main point or theme of your speech. After sharing your experience, explain how it relates to the topic at hand, and let your audience see the relevance to their own lives. This will make your speech more impactful and show your listeners why your personal story holds meaning.
3. Making a Shocking Statement
Starting your speech with a shocking statement can instantly grab your audience’s attention. This technique works especially well when your speech topic relates to a hot-button issue or a controversial subject. Just make sure that the statement is relevant and true, as false claims may damage your credibility.
For example, “Believe it or not, 90% of startups fail during their first five years in the market.” This statement might surprise your listeners and make them more receptive to your ideas on how to avoid pitfalls and foster a successful business.
So next time you’re crafting a speech, consider opening with a powerful shocking statement. It could be just the thing to get your audience sitting up and paying full attention. (Try to keep your shocking statement relevant to your speech topic and factual to enhance your credibility.)
4. Using Humor
Humor can be an excellent way to break the ice and grab your audience’s attention. Opening your speech with a funny story or a joke can make a memorable first impression. Just be sure to keep it relevant to your topic and audience.
A good joke can set a light-hearted tone, lead into the importance of effective time management, and get your audience engaged from the start.
When using humor in your speech, here are a few tips to keep in mind:
Be relatable: Choose a story or joke that your audience can easily relate to. It will be more engaging and connect your listeners to your message.
Keep it appropriate: Make sure the humor fits the occasion and audience. Stay away from controversial topics and avoid offending any particular group.
Practice your delivery: Timing and delivery are essential when telling a joke. Practice saying it out loud and adjust your pacing and tone of voice to ensure your audience gets the joke.
Go with the flow: If your joke flops or doesn’t get the reaction you were hoping for, don’t panic or apologize. Simply move on to the next part of your speech smoothly, and don’t let it shake your confidence.
Don’t overdo it: While humor can be useful in capturing your audience’s attention, remember that you’re not a stand-up comedian. Use it sparingly and focus on getting your message across clearly and effectively.
5. Incorporating a Quote
When you want to start your speech with a powerful quote, ensure that the quote is relevant to your topic. Choose a quote from a credible source, such as a famous historical figure, a well-known author, or a respected expert in your field. This will not only grab your audience’s attention but also establish your speech’s credibility.
For example, if you’re giving a speech about resilience, you might use this quote by Nelson Mandela: “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
Once you’ve found the perfect quote, integrate it smoothly into your speech’s introduction. You can briefly introduce the source of the quote, providing context for why their words are significant. For example:
Nelson Mandela, an inspirational leader known for his perseverance, once said: “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
When you’re incorporating a quote in your speech, practice your delivery to ensure it has the intended impact. Focus on your tone, pace, and pronunciation. By doing so, you can convey the quote’s meaning effectively and connect with your audience emotionally.
Connect the quote to your main points by briefly explaining how it relates to the subject matter of your speech. By creating a natural transition from the quote to your topic, you can maintain your audience’s interest and set the stage for a compelling speech.
In our resilience example, this could look like:
“This quote by Mandela beautifully illustrates the power of resilience. Today, I want to share with you some stories of remarkable individuals who, like Mandela, overcame obstacles and rose every time they fell. Through their experiences, we might learn how to cultivate our own resilience and make the most of life’s challenges.”
6. Starting with a Question
Opening your speech with a question can be a great way to engage your audience from the start. This strategy encourages your listeners to think and become active participants in your presentation. Your opening question should be related to your core message, sparking their curiosity, and setting the stage for the following content. Here are a few examples:
For a motivational speech : “Have you ever wondered what you would do if you couldn’t fail?”
For a business presentation : “What’s the biggest challenge your team faces daily, and how can we overcome it?”
For an educational talk : “How does the way we use technology today impact the future of our society?”
When choosing the right starting question, consider your audience. You want to ask something that is relevant to their experiences and interests. The question should be interesting enough to draw their attention and resonate with their emotions. For instance, if you’re presenting to a group of entrepreneurs, gear your question towards entrepreneurship, and so on.
To boost your question’s impact, consider using rhetorical questions. These don’t require a verbal response, but get your audience thinking about their experiences or opinions. Here’s an example:
For an environmental speech : “What kind of world do we want to leave for our children?”
After posing your question, take a moment to let it sink in, and gauge the audience’s reaction. You can also use a brief pause to give the listeners time to think about their answers before moving on with your speech.
7. Acknowledging the Occasion
When starting a speech, you can acknowledge the occasion that brought everyone together. This helps create a connection with your audience and sets the stage for the rest of your speech. Make sure to mention the event name, its purpose, and any relevant individuals or groups you would like to thank for organizing it. For example:
“Hello everyone, and welcome to the 10th annual Charity Gala Dinner. I’m truly grateful to the fundraising committee for inviting me to speak tonight.”
After addressing the event itself, include a brief personal touch to show your connection with the topic or the audience. This helps the audience relate to you and gain interest in what you have to say. Here’s an example:
“As a long-time supporter of this cause, I am honored to share my thoughts on how we can continue making a difference in our community.”
Next, give a brief overview of your speech so the audience knows what to expect. This sets the context and helps them follow your points. You could say something like:
“Tonight, I’ll be sharing my experiences volunteering at the local food bank and discussing the impact of your generous donations.”
Frequently Asked Questions
What are some effective opening lines for speeches.
A powerful opening line will grab your audience’s attention and set the stage for the rest of your speech. Some effective opening lines include:
Start with a bold statement: “The world needs your creativity now more than ever.”
Share a surprising fact: “Did you know that the average person spends (…) years of their life at work?”
Pose a thought-provoking question: “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”
Tell a short, engaging story: “When I was 10 years old, I discovered my passion for baking in my grandmother’s kitchen.”
Can you provide examples of engaging introductions for speeches?
Use humor: “As a kid, I believed that 7 pm bedtime was a form of torture. Now, as an adult, I find myself dreaming of 7 pm bedtime.”
Share a personal experience: “On a trip to Italy, I found myself lost in the winding streets of a small village. It was there, amidst my confusion, that I stumbled upon the best gelato I’d ever tasted.”
Use an analogy: “Starting a new business is like taking a journey into the unknown. There will be challenges to overcome, and you’ll need resilience, determination, and a strong compass.”
Which speech styles can make a powerful impact on the audience?
Different speech styles will resonate with different audiences. Some styles to consider include:
Inspirational: Motivate your audience to take action or overcome challenges.
Storytelling: Share personal experiences or anecdotes to illustrate your points and keep listeners engaged.
Educational: Provide useful information and insights to help your audience learn or grow.
Persuasive: Present a compelling argument to convince your audience to adopt a particular perspective or take specific action.
How do successful speakers establish a connection with their listeners?
Establishing a connection with your listeners is key to delivering an impactful speech. Some ways to connect with your audience include:
Show empathy: Demonstrating understanding and concern for your audience’s feelings and experiences will generate a sense of trust and connection.
Be relatable: Share personal stories or examples that allow your audience to see themselves in your experiences, thus making your speech more relatable.
Keep it genuine: Avoid overrehearsing or coming across as scripted. Instead, strive for authenticity and flexibility in your delivery.
Encourage participation: Engaging your audience through questions, activities, or conversation can help build rapport and make them feel more involved.
What are some techniques for maintaining a friendly and professional tone in speeches?
To maintain a friendly and professional tone in your speeches, consider these tips:
Balance humor and seriousness: Use humor to lighten the mood and engage your audience, but make sure to also cover the serious points in your speech.
Speak naturally: Use your everyday vocabulary and avoid jargon or overly formal language when possible.
Show respect: Acknowledge differing opinions and experiences, and treat your audience with courtesy and fairness.
Provide useful information: Offer valuable insights and solutions to your audience’s concerns, ensuring they leave your speech feeling more informed and empowered.
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10 Hilarious and Engaging Funny Speech Topics for Your Next Presentation
Crafting a presentation that sticks in the minds of your audience can be quite the challenge, right? Believe me, I know the struggle all too well. However, after pouring over more than 510 funny speech topics , I stumbled upon a comedy goldmine that’s sure to captivate any crowd .
This article is your ticket to selecting side-splitting and memorable topics guaranteed to keep your audience hooked. Brace yourself for an entertaining ride filled with laughter !
Table of Contents
Key Takeaways
Choosing funny speech topics keeps your audience interested , builds trust, and reduces tension . It makes complex ideas easier to understand and the presentation more memorable.
Relatable content connects directly with your audience. For high school or university settings, consider common experiences like navigating social media or balancing school and personal life.
Practice delivering your speech with effective timing and body language . Record yourself to improve delivery, use pauses for emphasis, and vary your tone to keep listeners engaged.
Personal stories make speeches engaging. Share amusing anecdotes from your own life to connect with the audience and make them laugh.
Understand who you are speaking to. Choose topics that match the interests of beginners in public speaking as well as seasoned audiences looking for humor in presentations.
Why Use Funny Speech Topics?
Using funny speech topics keeps your audience entertained and reduces tension, making your presentation more engaging. It also builds trust and creates relatable content for your listeners to connect with.
Keeps audience interested
Choosing funny speech topics is a smart move to keep your audience glued to your presentation. Humor breaks the ice and pulls listeners in, making them eager for what comes next. I learned the hard way that dry, dull topics lose audiences fast.
But when I threw in jokes or picked amusing speech topics, people perked up. They laughed, engaged more , and even asked questions after my talks.
One thing’s clear: everyone loves to laugh . It makes complex ideas easier to grasp and messages more memorable . During my Toastmasters days , I saw firsthand how laughter could transform an average presentation into a standout one.
Now, with over 510 hilarious and engaging funny speech topics available, choosing content that tickles everyone’s funny bone is easier than ever. This approach not only captivates attention but also turns potentially snooze-worthy sessions into lively discussions.
Builds trust
Using humor in speeches can build trust by creating a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere . This allows the audience to see your authentic personality , making them feel connected and comfortable with you as a speaker.
Funny speech topics also demonstrate that you are confident and capable of engaging people beyond just delivering information.
Humor in speeches builds trust by creating an enjoyable atmosphere and demonstrating confidence in engaging audiences authentically through lighthearted content .
Reduces tension
By incorporating humor into your speech, you can lighten the atmosphere and make the audience feel more relaxed. This can help to alleviate any nervousness or tension that may be present in the room.
Using funny speech topics allows you to connect with your audience on a more personal level, making it easier for them to engage with your presentation .
Incorporating lighthearted content into your speech helps to reduce tension and anxiety among your listeners, creating a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved. It also demonstrates your ability to connect with others through humor , making you appear relatable and approachable as a speaker.
Relatable content
Relatable content in your speech topics can connect directly with your audience , making them feel understood and engaged. When choosing funny speech topics for high school or university settings, consider common experiences that students can relate to, such as navigating social media pressures or the challenges of balancing school and personal life .
For presentations in corporate settings, incorporating humorous anecdotes about everyday office scenarios can make your speech more relatable and enjoyable. Remember to tap into universal experiences and observations that will resonate with your audience, creating a shared sense of humor.
When crafting impromptu or short speeches, think about relatable content that everyone can identify with quickly. Imparting amusing perspectives on daily occurrences like commuting mishaps or funny family dynamics will captivate the audience’s attention from the start.
Fun Speech Topics for Various Settings
Fun speech topics for different situations can make your presentation more enjoyable and engaging. Explore the best humorous speech ideas to captivate your audience’s attention.
High school
High school can be nerve-wracking, but funny speech topics can make it fun. Choose light-hearted subjects students can relate to. Topics such as “Why Homework Should Be Banned” or “The Unwritten Rules of High School Cafeteria” work well.
Keep it relatable and enjoyable for your classmates.
Encourage participation: engage with the audience by involving them in your stories. Use humor and anecdotes that everyone can connect with. This will ensure a lively and entertaining presentation, setting you up for success in front of your peers.
When it comes to addressing a university audience , using humorous speech topics can be a great way to captivate the attention of students and professors alike. Entertaining presentation topics tailored towards college settings include light-hearted and amusing subjects that resonate with the academic environment .
It’s not merely about delivering information but also about keeping everyone engaged through humor. 510 funny speech topics designed for educational settings are available, making it easier for speakers to choose an appropriate and enjoyable subject for their presentations.
With tips on how to select a fun topic and deliver it effectively, crafting an entertaining university presentation becomes less daunting.
Presentations
When it comes to presentations, using funny speech topics can keep your audience engaged and entertained. Whether it’s a high school project or a corporate presentation, incorporating humor can make your speech more relatable and enjoyable.
Myassignmenthelp.com offers over 400 funny presentation topics for you to choose from, ensuring that you can add lightheartedness to any speaking engagement . Remember, understanding your audience and practicing the delivery of jokes or anecdotes is crucial in making your humorous presentation effective.
Argumentative
When crafting an argumentative funny speech, it’s important to pick a topic that sparks debate and generates laughter. A good humorous argument needs to be light-hearted yet thought-provoking , inviting the audience to see things from a different perspective while enjoying the humor.
Some fun ideas for argumentative speeches could include debating whether cats or dogs make better pets, or if pizza should be considered a breakfast food. Choosing these kinds of topics can lead to lively discussions and keep your audience engaged throughout the presentation.
Now let’s move on to “ Persuasive ” speech topics.
When crafting a persuasive speech , remember to choose a topic that resonates with your audience and appeals to their emotions. Incorporate humor and light-hearted elements in your speech to keep the audience engaged.
Share relatable anecdotes or real-life examples to support your points, making it easier for your listeners to connect with your message.
Use body language and vocal intonation effectively to emphasize key points and create an impactful delivery. Additionally, maintain eye contact with the audience and exude confidence while delivering your speech.
Practice beforehand to ensure a smooth flow of ideas and an engaging presentation that leaves a lasting impression on your listeners.
Impromptu speech topics can be challenging, but they’re essential for building confidence and adaptability. They help you think on your feet and communicate effectively in unexpected situations .
These impromptu speeches are usually short, lasting 1-3 minutes or up to 7-10 minutes if given a little more time. Think of everyday scenarios, such as describing the contents of your bag or talking about your favorite hobby.
These quick-witted speeches require spontaneity and creativity to keep the audience engaged.
Remember that impromptu speeches are spontaneous opportunities to showcase your speaking skills without any prior preparation. Whether it’s at school, work, or other public settings, being able to respond confidently and humorously is an invaluable skill that will make you stand out as a speaker .
Short speeches (1-3 minutes, 4-6 minutes, 7-10 minutes)
Crafting short speeches requires focused content to engage audiences quickly. Here are some engaging and amusing topics for your next presentation, tailored according to the length of your speech:
1-3 minutes :
How to Make a Perfect Cup of Coffee
The Benefits of Laughter in Daily Life
Hilarious Dating Disasters : Lessons Learned
4-6 minutes :
Embracing Failure : Turning Setbacks into Success
The Art of Storytelling : Captivating Your Audience
Mastering the Art of Sarcasm : A Survival Guide
7-10 minutes :
Overcoming Stage Fright : Embracing the Spotlight
The Power of Positivity : Changing Your Mindset, Changing Your Life
Unleashing Creativity : Finding Inspiration in Everyday Moments
Tips for Choosing and Writing a Hilarious Speech
Understand your audience before writing.
Incorporate personal experiences and funny anecdotes or jokes.
Understand the audience
When crafting a speech, it’s crucial to understand the audience’s interests and preferences . For public speaking beginners, it’s essential to choose engaging and relatable topics that resonate with their experiences and humor.
Public speaking novices often appreciate light-hearted and amusing subjects that can help ease any nervousness or tension. Engaging presentation topics for beginners should be easy to comprehend, entertaining, and relevant to their everyday lives.
By keeping the audience in mind, speakers can tailor their content to ensure maximum engagement and enjoyment from the listeners.
Understanding your audience helps create a connection through shared experiences or common interests . For those new to public speaking, choosing funny speech topics that align with the audience’s sensibilities is key to capturing their attention.
Use personal experiences
During my time in graduate school, I had to give a presentation on a lighthearted topic. I chose to talk about the struggles of learning how to swim as an adult and incorporated some humorous incidents from my own experience.
Sharing personal stories not only made the audience laugh but also helped me feel more connected with them. Using personal experiences can make your speech relatable and engaging for the audience .
When crafting a funny speech, think about a moment from your life that can be turned into an amusing anecdote or story . It could be something embarrassing, challenging, or simply hilarious that you are comfortable sharing with others.
Incorporate funny anecdotes or jokes
When crafting a speech, sprinkling in some funny anecdotes or jokes can keep your audience engaged and entertained. I often mix in personal experiences or humorous stories to add flavor to my presentations.
For example, when discussing the importance of staying confident during public speaking, I once shared a lighthearted anecdote about the time I accidentally called my teacher “mom” in front of the entire class – it had everyone laughing and made them feel more at ease.
Remembering to keep it relatable and light-hearted is essential for all speakers looking to make their speech memorable.
Funny anecdotes not only alleviate tension but also create an environment where everyone feels included . They help connect with different types of audiences, whether they are high school students or corporate professionals.
Practice delivery and timing
When practicing your speech, record yourself and listen back to improve delivery. Use pauses effectively for emphasis and timing. Vary your tone to keep the audience engaged. Rehearse in front of a friend for feedback on pacing and humor delivery .
Now let’s explore some fun speech topics for different settings.
Additional Resources
Looking for more resources to level up your speaking skills? Check out our wealth of commemorative speech topics, fun essay ideas, and funny informative speech options. Need guidance on keeping any speech entertaining and engaging? Our FAQ section will provide all the info you need!
372 commemorative speech topics
Crafting a compelling speech is essential to keep the audience engaged and amused. To help you with this, here are 372 commemorative speech topics for your consideration:
How to honor and commemorate historical figures
Celebrating achievements of influential leaders
Paying tribute to revolutionary inventions and discoveries
Commemorating significant events in history
Remembering and honoring war heroes and veterans
Celebrating the impact of cultural icons
Commemorating milestones in science and technology
Honoring contributions of literary legends
Recognizing humanitarian efforts and philanthropic individuals
Memorializing important moments in sports history
And many more topics encompassing various aspects of commemoration for you to explore!
406 fun essay topics
When selecting fun essay topics , consider the interests and humor of your audience. Here are some exciting and amusing ideas to consider:
The impact of pet shaming on animal behavior
How to survive a zombie apocalypse using only office supplies
The life lessons learned from talking to animals
The challenges of being a superhero in a normal world
A day in the life of a talking parrot
Why cats make better roommates than dogs
The benefits of having a personal cloud that rains candy
How aliens would react to human social media trends
The secret lives of inanimate objects at home
Explaining complex adult problems to children
Now, let’s explore how these fun topics can be adapted for different types of presentations!
420 funny speech topics
Are you ready for some fun speech topics? Here are 420 hilarious and engaging ideas to keep your audience entertained and amused:
Awkward first date experiences
The most embarrassing moments in my life
How to survive a zombie apocalypse
If animals could talk, what would they say?
The art of procrastination : A beginner’s guide
Ridiculous fashion trends throughout history
An ode to bad hair days
The science of why we love cheesy jokes
Why cats are secretly plotting to take over the world
Life advice from a five-year-old
And many more await you for your next presentation or public speaking engagement!
Tips for making any speech fun
Engage your audience by infusing humor into your speech.
Use relatable content to connect with the audience.
Incorporate funny anecdotes or jokes to lighten the mood and keep everyone entertained.
Practice delivery and timing to ensure your comedic elements land well.
Understand your audience’s sense of humor and tailor your speech accordingly.
Share personal experiences that can bring a smile to your listeners’ faces.
Now, let’s explore how you can turn any speech into an engaging and amusing experience for your audience.
FAQ on funny informative speech topics
Thinking of incorporating humor into your next speech? Here are answers to some frequently asked questions about using funny informative speech topics:
How do I choose the right funny topic for my speech?
When selecting a funny informative speech topic, consider your audience and the occasion. Choose a subject that you find humorous and that resonates with your audience.
Should I incorporate personal experiences into my funny speech?
Yes, sharing personal anecdotes or experiences can make your speech more relatable and engaging for your audience.
What if I’m not naturally funny?
You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Simply finding light-hearted and amusing subjects to discuss can help infuse humor into your presentation.
How can I ensure that my humor is appropriate for my audience?
Understanding your audience’s preferences and cultural sensitivities will help you gauge what type of humor will be well-received.
Is it okay to use visual aids or props for added humor in my speech?
Absolutely! Visual aids, props, or even short video clips can add an extra layer of entertainment to your presentation.
What if my humorous material falls flat?
Not every joke will hit the mark, but acknowledging the moment with grace and moving on is key to keeping the audience engaged and entertained.
Can I use funny informative speech topics in serious settings, such as at work or during formal presentations?
Certainly! Appropriately timed humor can break tension and captivate your audience, making it suitable even for serious settings.
Are there resources available for finding more funny informative speech topics?
Yes! There are numerous online resources offering collections of hilarious and engaging speech topics designed to entertain various audiences.
How can I practice delivering funny speeches effectively?
Rehearse your timing, delivery, and punchlines while seeking feedback from friends or colleagues before presenting in front of a live audience.
Are there any tips for overcoming stage fright when delivering humorous speeches?
Embracing nervousness as part of the experience and trusting in your preparation can help alleviate stage fright when delivering a comical presentation.
Ryan Nelson is the founder of Speak2Impress, a platform dedicated to helping individuals master the art of public speaking. Despite having a crippling fear of public speaking for many years, Ryan overcame his anxiety through diligent practice and active participation in Toastmasters. Now residing in New York City, he is passionate about sharing his journey and techniques to empower others to speak with confidence and clarity.
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Resources | Storytelling | Strategy
50 powerful quotes to start your presentation.
Written by Kai Xin Koh
When was the last time you attended a conference where the speaker didn’t just say: “Oh hi, my name is XYZ and today, I’ll be speaking to you about Topic X”?
Great stories possess riveting narrative arcs that begin strong and end strong. We’ve written at length about some of the best ways to end your presentation , but how does one design a presentation to start without sounding too cliche?
One of the most powerful ways to begin a presentation is to start by sharing a powerful and memorable quote that relates to the message of your talk.
Powerful quotes have so much power on your presentation. Not only does it help reinforce your message, it also helps boost your credibility since it implied the quote is ‘agreeing’ with your statement.
Take this TED talk by Andrew Solomon for example. Notice how he skilfully uses a quote from a book by Emily Dickinson to set the stage for his numerous anecdotes regarding the topic on Depression in his presentation:
Hence, if you’re looking to follow suit and start your next presentation strong with a powerful quote, we’ve got you covered. Here, we compiled a list of 50 quotes that you can use to boost your next presentation.
50 Powerful Quotes To Start Your Presentation:
1) “ The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain
3) “ If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” – Albert Einstein
4) “ If you’re too comfortable, it’s time to move on. Terrified of what’s next? You’re on the right track.” – Susan Fales Hill
5) “ Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.” – Bill Gates
6) “ You can’t look at the competition and say you’re going to do it better. You have to look at the competition and say you’re going to do it differently.” – Steve Jobs
7) “ Make every detail perfect and limit the number of details to perfect.” – Jack Dorsey
8) “ Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.” – Oprah Winfrey
9) “ Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card, how you leave others feeling after an experience with you becomes your trademark.” – Jay Danzie
10) “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” – Warren Buffett
11) “Some entrepreneurs think how can I make a lot of money? But a better way is to think how can I make people’s lives a lot better? If you get it right, the money will come.” – Richard Branson
12) “When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, ‘Nah, what’s wrong with a horse? ’ That was a huge bet he made, and it worked.” – Elon Musk
13) “There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.” – Ray Goforth
14) “Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.” – Charles F. Kettering
15) “People rarely buy what they need. They buy what they want.” – Seth Godin
16) “Please think about your legacy, because you’re writing it every day.” – Gary Vaynerchuck
17) “The golden rule for every business man is this: Put yourself in your customer’s place.” – Orison Swett Marden
18) “A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” – David Brinkley
19) “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid.” – Einstein
20) “The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” – Lilly Tomlin
21) “ When you run a part of the relay and pass on the baton, there is no sense of unfinished business in your mind. There is just the sense of having done your part to the best of your ability. That is it. The hope is to pass on the baton to somebody who will run faster and run a better marathon.” – N. R. Narayana Murthy
22) “Whatever you’re thinking, think bigger.” – Tony Hsieh
23) “When you find an idea that you can’t stop thinking about, that’s probably a good one to pursue.” – Josh James
24) “What would you do if you’re not afraid?” – Sheryl Sandberg
25) “Don’t worry about failure, you only have to be right once.” – Drew Houston
26) “When I’m old and dying. I plan to look back on my life and say ‘Wow, an adventure’ not, ‘Wow, I sure felt safe’” – Tom Preston Werner
27) “80% of your sales comes from 20% of your clients.” – Vilfredo Pareto
28) “You just have to pay attention to what people need and what has not been done.” – Russell Simmons
29) “We are really competing against ourselves, we have no control over how other people perform.” – Pete Cashmore
30) “I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.” – Wayne Gretzy
31) “Always remember, your focus determines your reality.” – George Lucas
32) “If people like you they’ll listen to you, but if they trust you they’ll do business with you.” – Zig Ziglar
33) “Words may inspire but action creates change.” – Simon Sinek
34) “It isn’t what we say or think that denies us, but what we do.” – Jane Austen
35) “Get action. Do things; be sane; don’t fritter away your time; create, act, take a place wherever you are and be someone; get action.” – Theodore Roosevelt
36) “There is only one boss. The customer.” – Sam Walton
37) “Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama
38) “You have to go wholeheartedly into anything in order to achieve anything worth having.” – Frank Lloyd Wright
39) “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela
40) “Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.” – Bob Marley
41) “There is no great genius without some touch of madness.” – Seneca
42) “If you think you are too small to make an impact try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.” – Ekaterina Walter
43) “If you just work on stuff that you like and you’re passionate about, you don’t have to have a master plan with how things will play out.” – Mark Zuckerberg
44) “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison
45) “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” – Abraham Lincoln
47) “100 percent of the shots you don’t take, don’t go in.” – Wayne Gretzky, Hockey Legend
48) “If you’ve got an idea, start today. There’s no better time than now to get going. That doesn’t mean quit your job and jump into your idea 100 percent from day one, but there’s always small progress that can be made to start the movement.” – Kevin Systrom, Founder of Instagram
49) “Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion.” – Jack Welch, Former CEO of GE
50) “You must be very patient, very persistent. The world isn’t going to shower gold coins on you just because you have a good idea. You’re going to have to work like crazy to bring that idea to the attention of people. They’re not going to buy it unless they know about it.” – Herb Kelleher, Founder of Southwest Airlines.
There you have it!
Phew! – now you have an additional 50 powerful quotes that you can add in your presentation arsenal. Leave an unforgettable impression on your presentation with these quotes starting today!
Comment down your favourite quote. And let us know if you have any that we didn’t add to the list!
Article Written By: Kai Xin Koh
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31 Funny Icebreaker Jokes for Work Meetings
By: Angela Robinson | Updated: February 13, 2024
You found our list of funny icebreaker jokes for work meetings.
Icebreaker jokes are humorous lines that break down barriers between strangers and pave the way for communication in the workplace. Professionals often use jokes to break the ice as openers to speeches, networking events, sales pitches, or conversations with coworkers.
For speech writing, you may also be interested in employee appreciation quotes or inspirational quotes for work , and jokes for work .
This list of ideas includes:
humorous icebreakers
funny introduction jokes
good opening jokes
best ice breaker lines
jokes to break the ice
funny jokes for work meetings
sales jokes to break the ice
jokes about meetings
So, here is the list!
List of icebreaker jokes
From puns to plays on words to silly statements, here is a list of jokes you can use as conversation starters.
Funny ice breakers for speeches
We both have something in common. You don’t know what I’m going to say, and neither do I.
An employee is getting to know her new co-workers when the topic of her last job comes up. One co-worker asks why she left that job.” It was something my boss said,” the woman replied. “Why? What did he say?” the co-worker asked. “You’re fired.”
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a gin and … tonic.” “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
I recently started speed reading. So far, I can read “War and Peace” in ten seconds. It’s only three words, but it’s a start.
I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
Sales jokes to break the ice
My email password has been hacked. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename my cat.
I invented a new word! ….Plagiarism!
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
My boss just texted me: “Send me one of your funny jokes!” I texted him back: “I’m busy working. I’ll send one later.” “That’s hilarious,” he said. “Send another one!”
What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
You know what a clean desk is a sign of? A cluttered desk drawer.
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
Two cows are in a field. The first one says, “Mooooo!” The second one replies, “that’s what I was going to say!”
A man enters a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?” The lawyer responds: “I charge $1,000 to answer three questions.” The man replies, “That’s a bit expensive isn’t it?” “Yes,” says the lawyer. “Now, what’s your third question?”
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Funny icebreaker jokes for work
Want to hear an icebreaker? Fat penguin
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, “Sure is hot in here, huh?” The other muffin screams “Aaaah! A talking muffin!”
I’ve only been fired from a job once. It was a calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
You know what can really ruin a Friday? Remembering it’s only Thursday.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today? His car got toad away.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a huge plus.
A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. The salesman asks him, “Do you want an aquarium?” The guy responds, “I don’t care what star sign it is!”
When does a joke become a “dad” joke? When the punchline is a parent.
I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him. I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!”
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!! BREATHEEEEE!!!!!
Comedian Victor Borge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Starting conversations with strangers can be tough, but jokes can help eliminate jitters and establish instant camaraderie. Once the group overcomes the initial awkwardness, the real conversation begins.
Next, check out our list of fun icebreaker questions and a list of the best jokes for conference speeches .
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FAQ: Icebreaker jokes
Here are some of the most common questions and answers about icebreaker jokes.
What are icebreaker jokes?
Icebreaker jokes are jokes individuals use to start conversations with unfamiliar audiences on a positive and relaxed note. These lines are often used in the workplace and at meetings to break the ice.
What are some good icebreaker jokes?
Some good icebreaker jokes include:
These jokes are sure to elicit a chuckle or smile from the audience.
What are appropriate jokes for work?
The best jokes for work are clever and disarming but also professional. While some colleagues and clients might have a high tolerance for risque humor, it is always advisable to err on the side of caution and keep it clean. Though some clean jokes border on cheesy, the humor is sure to lighten the mood without making anyone angry or uncomfortable.
Author: Angela Robinson
Marketing Coordinator at teambuilding.com. Angela has a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing and worked as a community manager with Yelp to plan events for businesses.
They are brilliant jokes
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The big fish blog, 25 awesome public speaking quotes.
Preorder our new book, “The Big Fish Experience” to see everything we’ve learned over the years, all the resources we use to do what we do, and our tips on how to present experiences.
Public speaking is the number one fear in America. Death is number two.
From sweaty palms to cracking voices, speaking publicly can be terrifying, yet it is a crucial skill to have in the business world. We’d like to alleviate some of this stress by offering up some inspirational, informative quotes. These quotes are in no particular order, and the speakers range from well-known orators to presentation gurus. Some are serious, some are classic, and some are short and funny. Feel free to spread these around, write them in your journals, whatever you want! Enjoy!
“You can speak well if your tongue can deliver the message of your heart.” -John Ford
“Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you’ve got to say, and say it hot.” -D. H. Lawrence
“Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent.” -Dionysius Of Halicarnassus
“What we say is important… for in most cases the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” -Jim Beggs
“If you can’t write your message in a sentence, you can’t say it in an hour.” -Dianna Booher
“There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave.” – Dale Carnegie
“It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” – Mark Twain
“A good orator is pointed and impassioned.” -Marcus T. Cicero
“Oratory is the power to talk people out of their sober and natural opinions.” – Joseph Chatfield
“He who wants to persuade should put his trust not in the right argument, but in the right word. The power of sound has always been greater than the power of sense.” – Joseph Conrad
“There are three things to aim at in public speaking: first, to get into your subject, then to get your subject into yourself, and lastly, to get your subject into the heart of your audience.” – Alexander Gregg
“The success of your presentation will be judged not by the knowledge you send but by what the listener receives.” – Lilly Walters
“If you don’t know what you want to achieve in your presentation your audience never will.” – Harvey Diamond
“Best way to conquer stage fright is to know what you’re talking about.” – Michael H Mescon
“There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.” – Mark Twain
“No one ever complains about a speech being too short!” – Ira Hayes
“90% of how well the talk will go is determined before the speaker steps on the platform.” – Somers White
“It takes one hour of preparation for each minute of presentation time.” – Wayne Burgraff
“The most precious things in speech are the pauses.” – Sir Ralph Richardson
“Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.” – Martin Fraquhar Tupper
“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” – Carl W. Buechner
“The problem with speeches isn’t so much not knowing when to stop, as knowing when not to begin.” – Frances Rodman
“Words have incredible power. They can make people’s hearts soar, or they can make people’s hearts sore.” -Dr. Mardy Grothe
“Speech is power: speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.” – Mark Twain
Tags: 25 , art , audience , awesome blog , big fish , big fish presentations , blog , cool blog , emerson , entrepreneur , entrepreneurship , famous quotes , john ford , mark twain , presentation , public speaking , quotes , speakers , speaking , speech
These are 25 quotes that every writer on oratory as well as every orator need to have in his or her repertory of quotes. The one by Martin Fraquhar Tupper, “Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.” is a special favorite of mine because I’m always telling the new speakers that I mentor to pause when speaking as an alternative to using filler words when they need a moment to gather their thoughts. A well-laced pause can add dramatic impact to a speech while filler words do nothing but detract from the quality of ones speech.
We completely agree. Pausing adds that special dramatic impact. Filler words like “umm” and “ahh” can get dangerous if used too much…
Thank you!!!!
No problem, Jon! We’re glad you liked it! Stay tuned for more!
I just stumbled across this blog, and I love those Mark Twain quotes. What a genius, that man.
We completely agree, Mike! Make sure to subscribe to our blog for more posts!
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15 Powerful Attention Getters for Any Type of Speech
Coming up with a great opening line has never been so easy thanks to these ideas.
Arguably, the hardest part of writing a speech is coming up with the perfect hook. The first sentence that comes out of your mouth sets the tone for everything that's going to follow. You need to pack the first few lines with attention getters to make your speech immediately engaging to the audience.
But you don't have to be inherently good at oration like Cicero or Martin Luther King Jr. Instead, you can use these clever tactics to rock your speech from start to finish.
Effective Ways to Grab an Audience's Attention for a Speech
No two orators have the same methods, so no two speeches should start the same way. Don't be afraid to experiment with different ideas to see which one resonates the most with your topic and delivery style.
Funny Student Council Speech Ideas to Help Everyone Relate to You
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All beginners have to start somewhere, and these are some tried-and-true proven ways to grab an audience's attention right away:
1.Start With a Powerful Question
Asking a thought-provoking question can stimulate your audience's curiosity and get them feeling interested in hearing what you plan to follow up with.
2. Use Humor to Break the Tension
Lighthearted jokes or funny anecdotes can warm up the audience by breaking the tension. After a little laugh, they'll probably be more receptive to whatever your message is.
3. Open With an Interesting Statistic
An unexpected or shocking statistic can spark interest and emphasize a major selling point of your topic. Simple stats can also be very punchy, so they make a big impact.
4. Tell a Story
Humans love a narrative, so you can start with a personal or relevant story that makes connections to the various points of your speech in an indirect way.
5. Use a Visual Element
Incorporating graphics, videos, props, or diagrams can add a new dimension to your speech and keep your audience's short attention span locked on you.
6. Quote a Famous Person
One way to open your speech is with an impactful quote from a respected figure to lend authority to your argument or topic.
7. Incorporate Interactive Features
Polls, question-and-answer sessions, or requesting audience members to share their experiences can keep your audience involved. You know what they say - idle hands are the devil's workshop.
8. Challenge Common Beliefs
Stating a contrary opinion or debunking a common myth can be an electric way to get the audience engaged.
9. Use Powerful and Emotive Language
This can draw people in and help them connect with your message on an emotional level. After all, there's a reason one of Cicero's branches of rhetoric is pathos.
10. Relate to your Audience
People like to listen to stuff they relate to, so you can start with a few examples or scenarios that are relatable to your audience's experience.
11. Use Sound Effects or Music
Audio elements can make your presentation more dynamic and memorable. It's hard to look away from a light show or someone sauntering up to the stage with a theme song.
12. Incorporate Physical Activity
Asking your audience to stand up, high five their neighbor, or do a simple exercise can re-energize them. This is especially useful if you're in a group of speeches and need to get the audience to reconnect with you.
13. Pose a Hypothetical Scenario
Paint a picture of a possible future or situation and you can pique your audience's interest.
14. Show Your Passion
Audiences tend to pay attention when speakers display genuine enthusiasm and conviction about their topic, so don't be afraid to get passionate. Inflect in your phrases and let your facial expressions run wild.
15. Surprise Your Audience
Doing something unexpected can break the routine and instantly grab the group's attention.
Wedding Toast Examples for a Speech They'll Remember
Examples of Attention-Grabbing Phrases to Open a Speech
It's all good and well to know different methods for crafting your intro, but that doesn't magically help with putting the words together. Don't panic. We've got a whole host of attention-grabbing phrases you can use to open any speech with.
"Imagine if you could..."
"I'm going to reveal a secret that most experts don't want you to know."
"How many of you have ever experienced..."
"Let me start with an alarming fact..."
"Raise your hand if you believe..."
"Remember when you were a child and you believed in..."
"Here's a shocking statistic that will make your hair stand on end..."
"What if I told you that..."
"Let's take a journey back in time to..."
"I have a confession to make..."
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."
"Picture this..."
"I bet you're wondering why I'm here today..."
"Let me tell you a story..."
"I was in your shoes once, and then something extraordinary happened..."
"There's an old saying that goes..."
"Have you ever thought about why..."
"Did you know that..."
"Who here thinks they know what it's like to..."
"It might sound crazy, but..."
"Has anyone in here ever..."
"Every second we waste, someone in the world is..."
"I want to share with you a life-changing experience I had..."
"When you wake up in the morning, do you ever feel..."
"We are standing on the precipice of..."
"There's a truth that no one talks about, and it's this..."
"Let's take a moment to reflect on..."
"The first time I ever experienced..."
"Who here is brave enough to admit..."
"Before we get started, I want to ask everyone a question..."
Use a Good Hook for a Successful Speech
People usually think about the mic drop moment towards the end of the speech and leave the opening bit for minutes before they go on. But reciting a speech isn't like performing open mic night at the comedy club.
You need a good hook to reel the audience in, and which one you use will depend on your audience, your topic, and what you want people to take away from your speech. The long and the short of it is, you might be able to procrastinate on writing your speech, but you probably don't want to leave the opener 'til last minute.
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125 Funny Quotes & Sayings for a Good Laugh
Updated: Aug 31, 2023 | BY Alexandra Feiam
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Laughter truly is the best medicine, and funny quotes are the perfect prescription! Not only do they provide a good chuckle, but research has shown that laughter can also improve heart health and increase endorphins. No matter what kind of day you’re having, a good laugh is always a great pick-me-up. Whether you need a quick giggle or a full-on belly laugh, this list of funny quotes is sure to do the trick!
Funny Jokes
1. funny inspirational quotes.
Sometimes inspirational quotes can be a bit boring and don’t inspire much. These funny quote alternatives call for the humorous side of motivation while still giving you the spark to get some work done. Use these to inspire a friend and make them giggle, or print them out for your mood board. Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up.
1. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” —Thomas Eddison. 2. “If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.” —Donald Trump 3. “Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door.” —Kyle Chandler 4. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” —Will Rogers 5. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” —Dalai Lama
2. Funny Quotes About Life
Life throws a lot at you. From kids to new journeys, there’s always a way to find humor in it. These funny quotes encapsulated the trials and tribulations that happen to everyone, but keep it light and cheery and tickle your funny bone. Share these with someone who needs a bit of cheering up or if you need to give yourself a boost. From celebrities to famous quotes from anonymous people, there is something to give you a chuckle or two!
6. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller 7. “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost, and you see a path. Then, by all means, follow that path.”—Ellen DeGeneres. 8. “Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.”—Anonymous. 9. “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”—Les Dawson. 10. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” —Mitch Hedberg.
3. Funny Motivational Quotes
Finding motivation can be tough, but adding some humor into the mix can make it a bit easier. Life has its ups and downs, so uncovering the funny side can motivate you to achieve remarkable things, whether big or small. Keep these funny quotes close by for a pick-me-up and an extra boost. Even when life knocks you down, they’ll lend a hand to help you back up!
11. “When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” —Sydney Harris 12. “If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.” —Marie Osmond. 13. “Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost.” —Martina Navratilova 14. “If you fall, I’ll always be there.” —The Floor. 15. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” —Steven Wright
4. Funny Friday Quotes
Arguably the best day of the week, Fridays, are sure to put a smile on your face. These funny quotes may just take it one step further. Whether you’re stepping out with friends and enjoying a night on the town or staying in with a glass of wine and your favorite film, this selection can encapsulate your moods perfectly. Use these as a caption for an Instagram story or caption, and prepare for the laughs to roll in!
16. “May today be the Fridayest Friday that ever Fridayed.” —Anonymous 17. “Friday is my second favorite F word. Food is my first.” —Anonymous 18. “It’s Friday night. Time to be a hero and rescue some wine trapped in a bottle.” —Anonymous 19. “Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my co-workers with a keyboard.” – West Lee 20. “It’s always difficult to keep Fridays confined within themselves. They tend to spill over.” – Parag Tipnis.
5. Funny Work and Office Quotes
Office life impacts everyone in various ways, but these funny work quotes resonate with all. These sayings are not only relatable but also downright hilarious. Share them with a colleague for a good laugh or jot them down for a personal pick-me-up. Remember, we all have tough days, but with a smile on your face and these quotes in mind, you’ll go far!
21. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti. 22. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen 23. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown 24. “Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you didn’t have a plan.” – Larry Winget 25. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vince Lombardi
6. Funny Best Friend Quotes
There’s no one quite like a best friend. They stick with you through thick and thin, so they’re the go-to person when you need a good laugh. Whether you want to show your appreciation or just put a smile on their face, these funny friendship quotes are sure to do the trick. They’re relatable and witty and can apply to many situations, no matter how long you’ve been pals.
26. “I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” —Chandler (Matthew Perry), Friends. 27. “Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking, “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.” —Unknown. 28. “We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.” —Unknown. 29. “Best Friends. They know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.” —Unknown 30. “Best friend: the one that you can be mad at only for a short period of time because you have important stuff to tell them.” —Unknown
7. Funny Birthday Quotes
If you’re unsure what to write in a birthday card besides the obvious, these sayings are a great option. Not only are they funny to read, but they can apply to all sorts of people and situations. Adding one of these funny quotes to an Instagram post will instantly make it better while using them in a speech will fill the room with laughter and create a connection with the birthday person.
31. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” —Bob Hope. 32. “Eventually, you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” —Will Rogers. 33. “Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” —C.E.M. Joad 34. “You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday.” —Catherine Pulsifer 35. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” —Unknown.
8. Funny Twitter Quotes
Nothing beats a funny tweet. Social media is full of funny quotes, and here are a few of them. Use them for any reason you like – share them with a friend, use them as a caption, or just read them when you need a laugh. We’ve included the user’s tags so you can credit their clever thoughts!
36. “In a thousand years archaeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment” @oliviawilde 37. “[COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Me, as an adult: Hey, I’m on that medication.” @mommajessiec 38. “When parents say to kids “go to your room & think about what you’ve done” it’s really good practice for what you’ll do every night as an adult.” @tastefactory 39. “I told my boyfriend I was going to start my period, and he said, “AGAIN??” It’s like, you know what, you’re right, I’m cancelling my subscription.” @cULTMOTHER 40. “Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore?” @IamEnidColeslaw
9. Funny Christmas Quotes
Christmas is the time of year that brings joy to many. Besides the amazing food and abundance of presents, one of the best ways to add laughter to the season is by placing some humor beneath the Christmas tree. These funny quotes are relatable and hilarious, whether it’s about ordering gifts online, office parties, or spreading cheer.
41. “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” —Andy Borowitz 42. “This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.” —Guy Endore Kaiser 43. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” —Phyllis Diller. 44. “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” —Johnny Carson. 45. “Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends.” —Larry Wilde.
10. Funny Love and Marriage Quotes
Love and marriage might seem like a match made in heaven, but even the happiest relationships could benefit from a little assistance. These funny quotes delve into the humorous aspects of love, capturing both the highs and lows of romantic connections. Whether you’re looking for material for an anniversary social media post, a heartfelt love letter, or simply some amusement, these love quotes will surely do the trick.
46. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell. 47. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner. 48. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” —Rodney Dangerfield 49. “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.” —Unknown. 50. “Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.” —Unknown.
11. Short Funny Quotes
Sometimes the best jokes come in small packages – and this collection of funny short quotes proves it true. Compact and hilarious, they’re bound to make you laugh. Here you’ll discover sayings from beloved comedians like Robin Williams and George Carlin – they’re smart and amusing without being corny or old-fashioned. They’re ideal for those who prefer straight-to-the-point humor and appreciate a snappy one-liner or two!
51. “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”—George Carlin 52. “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”—Jay Leno 53. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”—Steve Martin 54. “Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating.”—Frank Semyon (Vince Vaughn), True Detective 55. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” —Robin Williams
12. Funny Graduation Quotes
After years of hard work, graduation is a milestone that needs to be celebrated. But why commemorate the event with a generic quote that everyone uses when you can use a funny quote? These sayings use humor to articulate the dedication you have put into your education and also highlight the importance of determination. Plus, there’s a quip or two about commencement speeches that everyone can relate to – it’s a universal thing!
56. “You know that point at your graduation ceremony where everyone tosses up their caps? Isn’t it great that we all celebrate how smart we are by throwing sharp pointy objects in the air?” —Unknown 57. “If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” —Frank A. Clark. 58. “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” —Gary Trudeau. 59. “The main difference for you, between life yesterday and life tomorrow, is you can go to the bathroom whenever you want. It’s a pretty big responsibility, but you’ve earned it.” —Eugene Mirman. 60. “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” —Robert Orben.
13. Funny Mother Quotes
A mother’s love is truly one-of-a-kind, even if it can sometimes be a little too involved or irritating. These funny quotes capture the immense love you feel for your parent while also injecting some humor. Whether it’s a quote from a beloved TV show or the realization of how much you resemble your mom, there’s something you can connect with and enjoy. Share these on Mother’s Day, in a social media post, or send them to your mama to express your deep affection.
61. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” —Erma Bombeck. 62. “Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes and a week’s worth are eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas.” —Lessons from the Minivan. 63. “I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.”—Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons), The Big Bang Theory. 64. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all!” —Unknown 65. “Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary for human life.” —Unknown
14. Funny Office Quotes
Reading these funny quotes can make the daily grind feel less like a chore. Whether you have a coworker who gets on your nerves or you genuinely enjoy your job, this selection of jokes will help you find the humor in your 9 to 5 job. From iconic comedians like Groucho Marx to the unforgettable Michael Scott from “The Office,” these funny quotes will bring laughter to your workday.
66. “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” —Anonymous 67. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” — Michael Scott. 68. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen. 69. “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. ” — Stanley J. Randall. 70. “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx.
15. Funny Halloween Quotes
Get ready for spooky season with this bundle of funny Halloween quotes. Some of these jokes are great for your costume, while others are perfect for sharing on social media with your buddies. Laugh out loud with quips about ghosts, skeletons, or vampires. Whether you’re trick-or-treating or just enjoying the season, these funny jokes will have everyone cracking up.
71. “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.”—David Letterman. 72. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels. 73. Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had nobody to go with. 74. Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies? Because you can see right through them. 75. What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? Broommates.
16. Funny Senior and Retirement Quotes
Are you ready to bid farewell to the working life, or have you simply reached an age where you couldn’t care less? Well, then, these funny quotes are just what you need. Whether you’re looking for a message to write in a retirement card or a funny caption, these sayings are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face!
76. “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.”—Joan Rivers. 77. “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”—Sir Norman Wisdom. 78.“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings, and you hope it isn’t for you.” — Ogden Nash. 79.”Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” —Unknown. 80.”Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” —Jonathan Clements.
17. Funny Yearbook Quotes
You’ll come across a few tough choices during your high school journey: which college to go to, what to major in, and what to write in your yearbook. While we can’t assist with the first two, we’ve got the last one covered. These timeless and funny quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face. Even years later, when you see your senior photo, you’ll chuckle to yourself!
81. “I Had To Put My Grades Up For Adoption Because I Couldn’t Raise Them.” – Anonymous 82. “I Look Better In Person.” – Anonymous 83. “Education Is Important But Big Biceps Are Importanter.” – Anonymous 84. “I Started High School With Straight A’s, Now I’m Not Even Straight.” – Anonymous 85. “Sometimes When My Neighbour Is Gone, I Roll Around In Her Garden And Pretend I’m Carrot.” – Anonymous
18. Funny Coffee Quotes
Coffee is a true delight in life. A lot of people can’t function without it and include it in their everyday routine. If this describes you, then you’ll probably like these funny quotes. Even if you’re not as caffeine-dependent as Lorelai Gilmore, these amusing expressions might strike a chord with you. They make great social media captions or blurbs to share with your barista while they prepare your daily cup.
82. “The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.”– Anonymous 83. ”Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s caffeine.” – Anonymous 84. “Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.” – Earl Wilson 85. “People don’t seem as annoying when I’ve got coffee.” –Tommy Cotton 86. “Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?” –Jean Kerr
19. Funny Family Quotes
You may not always get to pick your family, but you love them no matter what. Every family has its flaws and highs and lows. Embrace the humorous moments with these funny quotes that capture the quirky and occasionally downright strange moments that occur throughout the week. Share these jokes and sayings with your family through a text in the group chat, or use them as captions on social media.
87. “Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”— Wayne Huizenga 88. “Our family is just one tent away from a full-blown Circus.” – Anonymous 89. “Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.” – David Frost 90. “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” – Chelsea Handler
20. Funny Quotes of the Day
Kickstart your day with a big smile, all thanks to this collection of hilarious quotes of the day . With no particular theme, they capture the funniest aspects of life, ranging from self-discovery to wisdom and everything in between. You’ll find side-splitting remarks from renowned comedians and actors like Bill Murray and Lily Tomlin. Take a look, and see if you can keep a straight face – we challenge you!
91. “I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.” –Lily Tomlin. 92. “Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.” –Bill Murray. 93. “If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?” –Jerry Seinfeld 94. “When nothing is going right, go left.” –Unknown 95. “All generalizations are false, including this one.” –Mark Twain.
21. Funny Monday Quotes
Mondays can be pretty dreadful, but fear not! These funny quotes might just make them a tad more bearable. If you despise this day, these sayings will sympathize with the struggle of bidding farewell to the weekend and starting a new week. Share them with your pals on Instagram or shoot them a text.
96. “I swear it was Friday like 5 minutes ago.” –Unknown 97. “Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.” –Unknown 98. “Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.” –Unknown 99. “Even the best weeks start with Monday” –Nice Peter 100. “If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return Mondays.” –John Wagner
22. Funny Dog Quotes
Dogs have totally earned their reputation as Man’s best buddy. They boost your activity level and are super fun and amazing companions (especially when it comes to giving hugs!). So, how can we not gather funny quotes about dogs? These hilarious expressions perfectly capture the undeniable delight of having a pup and their incredible enthusiasm. All pet parents will totally relate to these!
101. “What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job!”— George Carlin. 102. “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.” — Phil Pastoret. 103. “You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’ ” — Dave Barry 104. “If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?” –Unknown. 105. “The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.” –Unknown.
23. Funny Sister Quotes
There is no love as undying or everlasting as the one you have for a sister. Far more than just siblings, you can share the largest and smallest moments in your lives together and teach each other lessons along the way. So, is there a better way to show your adoration for your sister than with one of these funny quotes? From always sticking together to the unbreakable bond, you will want to share all of these with her!
106. “If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.” – Pearl Cleage. 107. “I smile because you’re my sister. I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it.” – Unknown. 108. “Sisters are like fat thighs… they stick together.” – Unknown 109. “You can kid the world, but not your sister.” – Charlotte Gray 110. “When I say I won’t tell anyone, my sister doesn’t count.” – Unknown
24. Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
Thanksgiving is that time of year when you feel grateful for everything around you. It’s the perfect opportunity to show appreciation for the things in your life. When you’re sharing these moments on social media, using captions like ‘Thankful’ can get dull over time. Instead, try these funny quotes that will connect with your friends and family and might even get a laugh or two out of them.
111. “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”–Erma Bombeck 112. “Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.” –P.J. O’Rourke 113. “A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear them consider saying ‘that smells good’ to be helping.” –Jimmy Fallon 114. “For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag.” –Andy Borowitz 115. “Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home.” –Melanie White
25. Funny Easter Quotes
Easter is the most chocolate-filled time of the year and a perfect opportunity to flaunt your egg collection. These hilarious Easter quotes touch on everything from stuffing chocolate bunnies to a fun Easter Egg Hunt. You’ll have plenty of material for your upcoming social media post – good luck picking just one.
116. “A balanced Easter diet is a chocolate egg in each hand.” – Unknown 117. “Golf is just the adult version of an Easter Egg Hunt.” – Unknown 118. “Tell the chocolate bunny I’ll pass. I have enough men in my life who are hollow and disappointing.” —Unknown 119. “If you see a rabbit laying little brown eggs, don’t eat them. It’s not chocolate!” —Unknown 120. “The Easter bunny ate all of the carrots we left for him. What a pig.” —Steve Carell
Alexandra Feiam
Alexandra Feiam is an experienced fashion writer who holds a degree in journalism. She has an impressive portfolio and expertise working as the Editor at Power Retail and Commercial Content Editor at Newscorp. Ally has been writing for The TrendSpotter since 2018, and her work has been featured in notable publications such as The Herald Sun, Arirang TV South Korea, Kidspot, The House of Wellness, and The Daily Telegraph.
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Wedding Reception Ideas
39 Funny Wedding Toasts and Speeches That'll Get the Whole Room Laughing
Plus, tips on writing and delivering a humorous speech that won't come off as a roast.
Photo by Abby Jiu Photography
In This Article
If you've been asked to give a wedding toast , it's important to recognize what a big deal this is. The couple must think very highly of you if they trust you to speak on their behalf in front of everyone they love on such a special day. Now that you recognize what a tremendous honor this is, you might be feeling a bit nervous about your new role as reception orator. Where should you begin planning your speech?
The most important thing to know about wedding speeches —whether you're the maid of honor, best man, or a parent—is that the best ones are both heartfelt and humorous. Another key feature of a perfect toast? It should be under five minutes. Now that you have the length down, you can start penning your toast by doing a deep-dive into your own memories of and feelings about the couple. For most people, those heartfelt bits come easily. It's the other half of the speech—the funny half—that tends to be tough to write. After all, coming up with zingers isn't a skill that we all naturally possess. So, to help you out in the laughs department, we’ve rounded up some of our favorite funny wedding toasts and marriage quotes below.
Feel free to borrow with abandon and mix them up as needed—whatever it takes to make your speech really shine!
Photo by Twah Dougherty Photography
Funny Wedding Toast Ideas
Whether you're the maid of honor, best man, or parent of the bride or groom, these one-liners and well-wishes are sure to garner some chuckles.
"What do late nights, wild parties, and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? You won’t be able to do any of those things from now on. But congratulations on your wedding!"
"May your children be blessed with rich parents."
"The couple asked that I don't share any embarrassing stories today... so that's it for me! Cheers to the newlyweds!"
"Here's to you and here's to me, I hope we never disagree, But if, perchance, we ever do, Then here's to me, and to hell with you."
"Let’s raise our glasses to the two secrets of a long-lasting marriage: a good sense of humor and a short memory."
"May all of your ups and downs be only in the bedroom."
"Our happy couple really struggled to find someone to give a speech today. They asked their most attractive friend first, and they said no. Then they asked their smartest friend, who also said no. After that, they went to their funniest friend, and the answer was still no. So then they asked me, and I couldn't turn them down for a fourth time!"
"Remember: In life there are only two tools anyone really needs in their toolbox—duct tape and WD40. Duct tape keeps things from moving when they shouldn’t, and WD40 gets things moving when they’re stuck."
"May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."
"May you never lie, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie with each other. And if you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink with us. Cheers to the newlyweds!"
"We are gathered here today to honor something so truly magical, so truly unique and wonderful, that it simply had to be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the doughnut wall."
"As Bill and Ted once said: 'Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.'"
"Saying 'I do' at your wedding is like clicking the 'I accept' box any time a new piece of software on your computer or phone asks you to read its terms and conditions: You do it despite having no idea what will come next. Congratulations on your marriage!"
"Let me leave you with one piece of advice. Never laugh at your spouse’s choices. Remember: They also chose you. Cheers!"
"Now, let’s raise our glasses to the happy couple. I actually like both of you—do you have any idea how rare that is?"
"The couple has amazing taste, don't you think? I mean, we can all agree that they did choose the absolute best speaker tonight!"
"May the most you wish for be the least you get."
"May your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided."
Photo by Jose Villa
Funny Quotes for Your Wedding Toast
Use these humorous bits to offer the newlyweds wisdom and advice with a wink in your toast.
"The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf." — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
"We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love." — Dr. Seuss
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." — Rita Rudner
"Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash." — Dr. Joyce Brothers
"Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener." — Pauline Thomason
"A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes into it." — Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt." — Charles Schulz
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy." — Henry Kissinger
"To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." — Ogden Nash
"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end." — Catherine Zeta-Jones
"If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married." — Unknown
"Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy." — Unknown
"If at first you don’t succeed...try doing it the way your wife told you." — Unknown
"Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid [their] problems sound to you." — Megan Mullally
"The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henny Youngman
"The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with." — Mac MacGuff in Juno
"A man is incomplete until he's married. After that, he's finished." — Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Love is sharing your popcorn." — Charles Schultz
"Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there." — George Burns
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times—always with the same person." — Mignon McLaughlin
"Love is a lot like dancing; you just surrender to the music." — Pierce Brosnan
While quotes are great, keeping your wedding toasts personal or even providing quotes you remember from the couple getting married is always a good choice.
Photo by Les Loups
Tips for Writing and Delivering a Funny Wedding Toast
A funny wedding toast is a great way to keep everyone engaged; guests (especially after a few drinks at cocktail hour) don't always have the best attention spans for long, emotional speeches. A toast that's light, short, and appropriately funny is the recipe for one attendees will remember—and for all the right reasons. Just be sure to follow a few important tips for writing, practicing, and delivering a funny wedding toast.
Avoid too many inside jokes.
Have you ever been out with a group of friends and experienced everyone laughing about something that makes absolutely no sense to you? If so, you know that there's no worse feeling than being on the outside of an inside joke. While it's perfectly fine to include a few lines that make sense to just a few people in attendance, it's important to ensure that the vast majority of your toast resonates with everyone on the guest list.
Don't poke fun at the happy couple.
Remember that this is a toast, not a roast. It's best to be humorous but not mean-spirited or cruel. You want guests to laugh with you instead of at the happy couple, so avoid anything that feels as though you're mocking the newlyweds. Sharing funny stories and musings is a better course of action than retelling every embarrassing story you know about the bride or groom.
Be sure to strike the right balance between funny and serious.
While you don't have to pair every funny line with something more sentimental, it is nice to ensure there's a good mix of content in your speech. Balance all that (tasteful) humor with more serious sentiments—how much you love the couple, what their bond has taught you about happy relationships, and your hopes and dreams for their long, happy future together—and you've got a guaranteed hit.
Have someone else vet it.
Who can forget that scene in Wedding Crashers where Rachel McAdams thinks she's written the world's funniest speech and Owen Wilson kindly tells her to speak from the heart instead? While you might think you've penned a winner, it's best to let someone you trust weigh in before you take it to the crowd. Be open-minded about their feedback and willing to adjust if they note any major red flags.
Practice, practice, practice.
Your speech might be rock solid, but if you're tripping over every word or rushing through what you've written, guests will never know how great it is. Though definitely don't have to memorize it, you should practice it a few times through to make sure there are no clunky phrases or tough to pronounce words. Nail your timing and make sure you give your jokes a little breathing room for laughs, too.
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Great funny speeches: how to get the laughter you want
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Life Quotes That Will Change Your Perspectives! #quotes
Motivating Quotes for Students| Inspirational Quotes Students #shorts #shayari #motivational #like
Powerful Motivational Quotes to Kickstart Your Day
Powerful Motivational Quotes to Kickstart Your Day
Powerful Motivational Quotes to Kickstart Your Day
Powerful Motivational Quotes to Kickstart Your Day
COMMENTS
15 Funny Quotes to Start a Speech With a Bang
Learn how to use humor to grab your audience's attention and set the tone for your speech. Find out the benefits, tips, and types of funny quotes to start a speech with a bang.
40 Funny Speech Opening Lines: Make 'Em Laugh
Or as I like to call it, the part of the day where I try to sound smarter than I actually am.". "It's a pleasure to be here tonight. Or as my therapist would say, 'It's a start.'". "Thank you for that warm welcome. I was worried you'd all be asleep by now.". "Hello, everyone! I'm here to talk to you about [topic].
Best Funny Quotes To Kickstart Your Speech
Here are some witty and thought-provoking quotes that will make your speech stand out: "The best way to predict the future is to create it.". - Peter Drucker. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do.". - Steve Jobs. "Success is not the key to happiness.
20 Great Quotes To Help You Deliver A Killer Speech
Learn how to use quotations to create laughter, think, attention, point, idea, inspiration, warning, care, insight, education and case in your speeches. Find 20 examples of powerful and memorable sayings from various sources and genres.
Public speaking quotes: Funny, inspiring presentation insights
Find a collection of quotes on various topics related to public speaking, such as anxiety, questions, attitude, audience, clarity, and humor. Use them to warm up your audience, inspire yourself, or improve your communication skills.
15 Powerful Speech Opening Lines (And How to Create Your Own)
Analyze their response and tweak the joke accordingly if necessary. Starting your speech with humour means your setting the tone of your speech. It would make sense to have a few more jokes sprinkled around the rest of the speech as well as the audience might be expecting the same from you. 4.
16 Funny Quotes to Start Your Next Business Presentation
8. "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." Oscar Wilde. 9. "Few great men would have got past personnel." Paul Goodman. 10. "The key to being a good manager is ...
Best Opening Quotes For Speeches & Presentations
Find a funny quote that suits your topic and audience to grab their attention and set the scene for your speech. Browse through various categories of opening quotes, from procrastination to self-love, and learn how to use them effectively.
15 Inspiring Public Speaking Quotes (Famous, Funny, & Fear-Reducing)
This inspiring quote expresses Emerson's view that speech is important, "Speech is power: speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel." (Source: The Later Lectures of Ralph Waldo Emerson: 1843 - 1871) 12. Seth Godin. Godin is known for blogging and for entrepreneurial ventures.
Great funny speeches: how to get the laughter you want
Having a great introduction or set-up to it, is even better. Find out how do that well. - characterization techniques enable you to become the characters in your story. Your stories are so much richer for it. 5. Rehearsal/practice = great funny speeches. Having prepared your speech, you're ready for rehearsal.
350+ Funny and Witty Introductions to Use 2020
Here are some of the funny and witty introductions and opening lines you can use to start off your speech. My job is to talk to you, and your job is to listen to it. If you finish first, please let me know. An evening like this would be empty without some reference to [politics], so let's just think of this as empty.
34 Humorous Quotes on Life for Speeches and More
Find some witty and memorable quotes to spice up your speeches or presentations. Browse through 34 humorous quotes on life by famous authors, comedians, and anonymous sources.
120 Inspiring Quotes to Start A Speech with Impact
Good Quotes To Start A Speech. "The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.". "The only way to do great work is to love what you do.". "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.". "Believe you can and you're halfway there.".
How to Start a Speech: 7 Tips and Examples for a Captivating Opening
4. Make them laugh. Injecting a little humor into your opening line puts everyone at ease and makes your speech more memorable. Just make sure your joke is relevant and doesn't offend your audience. Example: "They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit!". 5.
10 Hilarious and Engaging Funny Speech Topics for Your Next
Short speeches (1-3 minutes, 4-6 minutes, 7-10 minutes) Crafting short speeches requires focused content to engage audiences quickly. Here are some engaging and amusing topics for your next presentation, tailored according to the length of your speech: 1-3 minutes: How to Make a Perfect Cup of Coffee. The Benefits of Laughter in Daily Life.
50 Powerful Quotes To Start Your Presentation
Hence, if you're looking to follow suit and start your next presentation strong with a powerful quote, we've got you covered. Here, we compiled a list of 50 quotes that you can use to boost your next presentation. 50 Powerful Quotes To Start Your Presentation: 1) " The secret of getting ahead is getting started." - Mark Twain
31 Funny Icebreaker Jokes for Work Meetings
Professionals often use jokes to break the ice as openers to speeches, networking events, sales pitches, or conversations with coworkers. For speech writing, you may also be interested in employee appreciation quotes or inspirational quotes for work, and jokes for work. This list of ideas includes: humorous icebreakers; funny introduction jokes
25 Awesome Public Speaking Quotes
1. The nervous and 2. Liars.". - Mark Twain. "No one ever complains about a speech being too short!". - Ira Hayes. "90% of how well the talk will go is determined before the speaker steps on the platform.". - Somers White. "It takes one hour of preparation for each minute of presentation time.".
Funny Student Council Speech Ideas to Help Everyone Relate to You
Silly Secretary Speech Intro. Your student council secretary really needs to love words. I love words so much that I'll only eat Alpha-Bits for breakfast. And what's more, I'll only eat the cereal letters I can use to make a word. So, say there's a "T," "Q," and "R" left in the bowl; I can't bring myself to swallow them.
38 Funny Wedding Toasts to Literally Make Your Guests LOL
Funny Wedding Toast Quotes from Famous People. Sometimes celebrities can have wise words to provide the masses. Use one of these famous quotes for your funny wedding toast. 31. "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." - Henny Youngman (British-American comedian) 32.
15 Powerful Attention Getters for Any Type of Speech
4. Tell a Story. Humans love a narrative, so you can start with a personal or relevant story that makes connections to the various points of your speech in an indirect way. 5. Use a Visual Element. Incorporating graphics, videos, props, or diagrams can add a new dimension to your speech and keep your audience's short attention span locked on ...
125 Funny Quotes & Sayings for a Good Laugh
4. "Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." —Will Rogers. 5. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito." —Dalai Lama. 2. Funny Quotes About Life. Life throws a lot at you.
39 Funny Wedding Toasts and Speech Quotes
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." — Henry Kissinger. "To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up ...
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COMMENTS
Learn how to use humor to grab your audience's attention and set the tone for your speech. Find out the benefits, tips, and types of funny quotes to start a speech with a bang.
Or as I like to call it, the part of the day where I try to sound smarter than I actually am.". "It's a pleasure to be here tonight. Or as my therapist would say, 'It's a start.'". "Thank you for that warm welcome. I was worried you'd all be asleep by now.". "Hello, everyone! I'm here to talk to you about [topic].
Here are some witty and thought-provoking quotes that will make your speech stand out: "The best way to predict the future is to create it.". - Peter Drucker. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do.". - Steve Jobs. "Success is not the key to happiness.
Learn how to use quotations to create laughter, think, attention, point, idea, inspiration, warning, care, insight, education and case in your speeches. Find 20 examples of powerful and memorable sayings from various sources and genres.
Find a collection of quotes on various topics related to public speaking, such as anxiety, questions, attitude, audience, clarity, and humor. Use them to warm up your audience, inspire yourself, or improve your communication skills.
Analyze their response and tweak the joke accordingly if necessary. Starting your speech with humour means your setting the tone of your speech. It would make sense to have a few more jokes sprinkled around the rest of the speech as well as the audience might be expecting the same from you. 4.
8. "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." Oscar Wilde. 9. "Few great men would have got past personnel." Paul Goodman. 10. "The key to being a good manager is ...
Find a funny quote that suits your topic and audience to grab their attention and set the scene for your speech. Browse through various categories of opening quotes, from procrastination to self-love, and learn how to use them effectively.
This inspiring quote expresses Emerson's view that speech is important, "Speech is power: speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel." (Source: The Later Lectures of Ralph Waldo Emerson: 1843 - 1871) 12. Seth Godin. Godin is known for blogging and for entrepreneurial ventures.
Having a great introduction or set-up to it, is even better. Find out how do that well. - characterization techniques enable you to become the characters in your story. Your stories are so much richer for it. 5. Rehearsal/practice = great funny speeches. Having prepared your speech, you're ready for rehearsal.
Here are some of the funny and witty introductions and opening lines you can use to start off your speech. My job is to talk to you, and your job is to listen to it. If you finish first, please let me know. An evening like this would be empty without some reference to [politics], so let's just think of this as empty.
Find some witty and memorable quotes to spice up your speeches or presentations. Browse through 34 humorous quotes on life by famous authors, comedians, and anonymous sources.
Good Quotes To Start A Speech. "The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.". "The only way to do great work is to love what you do.". "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.". "Believe you can and you're halfway there.".
4. Make them laugh. Injecting a little humor into your opening line puts everyone at ease and makes your speech more memorable. Just make sure your joke is relevant and doesn't offend your audience. Example: "They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit!". 5.
Short speeches (1-3 minutes, 4-6 minutes, 7-10 minutes) Crafting short speeches requires focused content to engage audiences quickly. Here are some engaging and amusing topics for your next presentation, tailored according to the length of your speech: 1-3 minutes: How to Make a Perfect Cup of Coffee. The Benefits of Laughter in Daily Life.
Hence, if you're looking to follow suit and start your next presentation strong with a powerful quote, we've got you covered. Here, we compiled a list of 50 quotes that you can use to boost your next presentation. 50 Powerful Quotes To Start Your Presentation: 1) " The secret of getting ahead is getting started." - Mark Twain
Professionals often use jokes to break the ice as openers to speeches, networking events, sales pitches, or conversations with coworkers. For speech writing, you may also be interested in employee appreciation quotes or inspirational quotes for work, and jokes for work. This list of ideas includes: humorous icebreakers; funny introduction jokes
1. The nervous and 2. Liars.". - Mark Twain. "No one ever complains about a speech being too short!". - Ira Hayes. "90% of how well the talk will go is determined before the speaker steps on the platform.". - Somers White. "It takes one hour of preparation for each minute of presentation time.".
Silly Secretary Speech Intro. Your student council secretary really needs to love words. I love words so much that I'll only eat Alpha-Bits for breakfast. And what's more, I'll only eat the cereal letters I can use to make a word. So, say there's a "T," "Q," and "R" left in the bowl; I can't bring myself to swallow them.
Funny Wedding Toast Quotes from Famous People. Sometimes celebrities can have wise words to provide the masses. Use one of these famous quotes for your funny wedding toast. 31. "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." - Henny Youngman (British-American comedian) 32.
4. Tell a Story. Humans love a narrative, so you can start with a personal or relevant story that makes connections to the various points of your speech in an indirect way. 5. Use a Visual Element. Incorporating graphics, videos, props, or diagrams can add a new dimension to your speech and keep your audience's short attention span locked on ...
4. "Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." —Will Rogers. 5. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito." —Dalai Lama. 2. Funny Quotes About Life. Life throws a lot at you.
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." — Henry Kissinger. "To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up ...